Connection and Safety is the Treatment
When we are with our people- our children, our clients, without judgment and without agenda, we are offering them a space within which their neurobiology could take a step toward integration. To be so present with someone that we can be patiently curious about what is going to arise in the next moment is the essence of the therapeutic experience. The moment I experience a sense that what I need to have happen…whether that be because I’m following a protocol, or I’m feeling the desperation of a parent for me to fix their child, or I’m having a very normal moment of therapist vulnerability and I need my client to prove my worth, or any number of other reasons why I leave the present moment of curiosity and move into one with agenda and judgment….is the moment my client is once again left alone with their pain, sadness, and loneliness.
Cultivating this presence of stillness while still being ‘dynamically awake’ (Bonnie Badenoch) is a practice that requires care, attention, and diligence. It’s a practice of experiencing someone else’s full non-judgmental and agenda-less presence. It’s a practice in mindful awareness so that I can begin to track the felt-sense in my body as I move into agenda. It’s a practice in humility as I welcome the unknown.
Connection and safety are not left-brained constructs that we answer with a logical check of the facts.
Connection and safety emerge out of the presence and curiosity…the commitment to staying fully present and embodied with ourselves and our clients.
Based on the work of Bonnie Badenoch, Stephen Porges, Ian McGilchrist…
Robyn
- Grieving as a Parent with a History of Trauma: Part 6 of 6 {EP 255} - March 3, 2026
- Identifying Your Triggers as a Parent with a History of Trauma: Part 5 of 6 {EP 254} - February 24, 2026
- Caring for your Own Watchdog & Possum as a Parent with a History of Trauma: Part 4 of 6 {EP 253} - February 17, 2026
