Cool, Calculated- But Still in Protection Mode {EP 243}


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Sometimes our kids look completely calm- even smug- while doing something that definitely isn’t a behavior of connection.

But…they’re not melting down. They’re not screaming. They seem totally in control.

Seems kinda like owl brain, yeah? 

But- it’s not. It’s protection mode, even if the behavior seems calm. 

In this episode, we’ll talk about how kids can use their thinking brain in the service of their protective brain. They might plan, plot, and problem-solve… but they aren’t integrating. They aren’t considering other people, or long-term consequences. They’re thinking, but they’re not connected.

In this Episode, You’ll Learn:

  • Why calm doesn’t always mean regulated (and what’s really going on in those moments).
  • How “clever” misbehavior can actually be protection mode — even when it looks smart or controlled.
  • How a child can plan into the future- and still be in protection mode.
  • What to do after the Owl Brain returns — how to hold accountability, repair, and make success inevitable next time.

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

  • Resources mentioned in the podcast go here

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Why It’s Hard for Your Kid to Take Responsibility {EP 242}


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You ask your child what happened, and before you can finish the sentence, they’re already saying, “It wasn’t my fault!”

Sound familiar?

I know this is SO frustrating! But there’s a reason this is so hard, and it has everything to do with (of course!) the brain and nervous system.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why taking responsibility is an Owl brain skill that depends on reflection, regulation, and cause-and-effect thinking
  • How Watchdog and Possum states block the ability to reflect and instead create defensive, blame-shifting language
  • Simple ways to grow your child’s capacity for responsibility through connection, regulation, and safety, not shame

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

  • All About Me workbook ($15 download on my website or FREE with your Club membership)

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Why Some People Resist Relational Neuroscience {EP 241}


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Sometimes you share something about the brain—like how all behavior makes sense—and people push back hard. Maybe they dismiss it. Maybe they even get mad. It can feel confusing, because once you see the truth of relational neuroscience, it feels like such a relief. So why are some folks so resistant?

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why resistance is often the nervous system’s way of protecting from grief, shame, or instability
  • How relational neuroscience challenges not just parenting practices but entire worldviews
  • Ways to respond—with compassion for others and yourself—when resistance shows up

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Window of Tolerance- What it Is and How to Grow It {EP 240}


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Sometimes, your kids can handle frustration or disappointment with ease, and other times the exact same challenge sends them into meltdown mode. This can feel really baffling! Why are they so inconsistent?

Well, part of that difference comes down to their window of stress tolerance.

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • What the window of stress tolerance is and how it connects to your child’s owl, watchdog, and possum brains
  • Why widening the window matters for learning, relationships, and everyday life
  • Practical ways you can help your child (and yourself!) expand the window through connection, playfulness, noticing the good, and self-compassion

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

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