When It’s Not Working: Troubleshooting {EP 261}


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You’ve learned about the nervous system, you’re trying to co-regulate, you’re thinking about felt safety and connection — and the behavior is still happening! WHY?!?! This episode is a troubleshooting guide for exactly that moment. Instead of going back to the drawing board, we’re going deeper into the same map: getting curious about regulation, felt safety, connection, and skills to figure out what the nervous system actually needs.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why the question is never “what consequence haven’t I tried yet?” — and what to ask instead
  • How to troubleshoot each of the four conditions that need to be in place for behavior to be okay: regulation, felt safety, connection, and skills
  • Why a child can “know” a skill and still not be able to access it — and what scaffolding that skill actually looks like

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Podcast Episodes

Books

Free Resources

Paid / Member Resources

  • The Club resource library — includes the troubleshooting worksheet and the Growing a Child’s Owl Brain with Felt Safety packet/workbook (~40 pages) RobynGobbel.com/TheClub
  • Professional Immersion Program — students and alumni also have access to the troubleshooting worksheet RobynGobbel.com/Immersion

In-Person Trainings

Read the full transcript below

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

No Strategy Will Fix This: What Actually Helped Instead {EP 260}


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Listen in on a conversation I have with a Club member whose family lived through years of intense, violent, and deeply isolating behavior…and eventually found their way to something different. It’s a story about holding onto the truth of who your child is, even when everything in front of you makes that feel impossible.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why “just tell me what to do” doesn’t work in the hardest situations, and what actually helps instead
  • How holding onto your child’s true essence can anchor you, even in the most dysregulated moments
  • The small, doable shifts that can begin to change things (even before behavior improves)

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Holding Hope when your Child’s Behavior is Truly Dangerous {EP 259}


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Parenting a child with big, baffling behaviors can feel terrifying sometimes. Especially when those behaviors aren’t just frustrating… they’re dangerous. In this episode, I’m talking with a parent who knows that reality deeply, and who is also finding a way to hold onto hope.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why seeing your child as “good” doesn’t mean ignoring serious or dangerous behavior
  • How one parent stays steady even when others say “this child isn’t worth it”
  • What actually helps behavior change (hint: it’s not punishment, but it’s not the absence of accountability either)

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Creating a Connected Classroom with Marti Smith & Amie Huggins {EP 258}


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What if the biggest barrier to learning in the classroom isn’t behavior… but safety?

Teachers are overwhelmed. Kids are dysregulated. And somewhere in the middle, everyone is trying their best…but it’s not working the way we hoped. In this conversation, I sit down with occupational therapist Marti Smith and educator Amie Huggins to talk about what happens when we bring relational neuroscience into the classroom in real, practical ways.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why behavior in the classroom makes more sense when we see it as communication, not defiance
  • How connection, co-regulation, and felt safety actually support learning (not compete with it)
  • Simple, realistic ways teachers can meet sensory and relational needs—even with a full classroom

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

One Reason why Kids Melt Down after School {EP 257}

When your kid melts down after school, it seems like they just have a bad attitude or don’t want to do homework. But sometimes those explosions have less to do with behavior and more to do with a nervous system that has been working hard to handle sensory stress all day long.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why do many kids fall apart after school, even if they seemed “fine” all day
  • How the sensory environment at school can slowly chip away at a child’s regulation
  • Why after-school meltdowns often happen with the people kids feel safest with

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

 

/by

Your Trauma-Shaped Nervous System Makes Sense {Ep 256}


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Content note: This episode discusses trauma, parenting stress, and nervous system activation. There are no graphic details, but please take care while listening.

If you’ve spent years learning about the nervous system to better support your child, and now you’re ready to offer the same curiosity and compassion to yourself, then this episode is for you. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • How core nervous system concepts like connection vs. protection, regulation, and felt safety apply to your trauma-shaped nervous system
  • Why reactions rooted in watchdog and possum states make sense for you, too 
  • How sensitized stress responses, state-dependent functioning, and a narrowed window of tolerance explain why insight alone isn’t enough

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Grieving as a Parent with a History of Trauma: Part 6 of 6 {EP 255}


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Sometimes the hardest part of parenting isn’t your child’s behavior, it’s the grief that rises up inside you. The grief of not getting what you needed. The grief of still healing while you’re trying to parent intentionally. In this episode, we talk about the quiet, complicated grief that can come with parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system when you have your own history of trauma.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • The core griefs that often emerge when you’re parenting with your own trauma history
  • Why noticing intergenerational patterns can stir shame
  • How to be with your grief using self-compassion and a gentle “touch in, touch out” approach

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Identifying Your Triggers as a Parent with a History of Trauma: Part 5 of 6 {EP 254}


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If you’re parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system when you have your own history of trauma, you know that sometimes your reaction isn’t really about what’s happening in front of you; it’s about what’s happened before. In this episode, we’re talking about how to gently uncover what might be going on when you have a huge stress response to a stressor that didn’t quite need an attack-level watchdog response.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • What a trigger actually is (and why it doesn’t feel like one in the moment)
  • How to tell if your nervous system is reacting to now… or something older
  • A simple step-by-step process to uncover and care for the belief driving your reaction

If you’re ready to go deeper into this work, the full Trigger Hunting masterclass is inside The Club.

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Caring for your Own Watchdog & Possum as a Parent with a History of Trauma: Part 4 of 6 {EP 253}


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Content note: This episode discusses trauma, nervous system activation, and protective responses such as shutdown, dissociation, anger, and urgency. There are no graphic details, but please take care while listening.

If you have a history of trauma, your watchdog and possum parts have likely been working hard for a long time. And when you’re parenting a child with big baffling behaviors, those protectors can get loud.

In this episode, we draw inspiration from Dan Siegel’s work to explore what it means to be with your watchdog and possum without becoming them. This isn’t about silencing your protectors. It’s about building a relationship with them.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • How state integration allows you to notice your watchdog and possum parts without fusing with them
  • Why curiosity and compassion widen your window of tolerance more effectively than control or self-criticism
  • How caring for your protective parts begins with awareness, gratitude, and understanding what they need

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Nurturing Your Window of Tolerance as a Parent with a History of Trauma: Part 3 of 6 {EP 252}


Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Spotify

Content note: This episode discusses trauma, parenting stress, nervous system activation, and self-compassion. There are no graphic details, but please take care while listening.

Parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system can stretch your capacity in profound ways, especially when you have a history of trauma yourself. In this episode, we explore what it really means to nurture your window of tolerance, not through force or self-discipline, but through safety, connection, and compassion. This episode is about strengthening your own stress response system, not by pushing harder, but by offering your nervous system the conditions it needs to feel safe.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why widening your window of tolerance after trauma has to be gentle, relational, and slow
  • How self-compassion functions as a powerful intervention to support your own nervous system
  • Practical, realistic ways to nurture your window of tolerance through connection, repair, honoring limits, and micro-cues of safety

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

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