Responding to the Judgement and Advice from Others {EP 264}


Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Spotify

Parenting kids with big, baffling behaviors is hard enough. THEN someone has opinions about it. This episode breaks down why people say the things they say (hint: it’s about their nervous system, not your parenting), what’s actually happening in you when judgment lands, and how to respond- or not respond- in a way that protects your own regulation.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why unsolicited advice and criticism are almost always a projection from the other person’s protection brain 
  • How to recognize when explaining yourself won’t actually help 
  • Practical ways to respond to judgment (included below!!)

Scripts

  • “Thank you. I’m comfortable with our parenting decisions.”
  • “I hear you. I need to tend to my child right now.”

Neutral / Redirect

  • “We’ve got it covered, thanks.”
  • “We have a lot of support around this.”
  • “I have people I go to for that.”
  • “That’s not something I’m looking for input on.”
  • “We’re working with someone on it.”

Warmer but Still a Clear Boundary

  • “I appreciate that you care. We’re good.”
  • “Thanks for thinking of us — we’ve got support.”

Confident / Firmer

  • “I’m not looking for advice, but thank you.”
  • “That’s not actually something I’m open to feedback on.”
  • “We’re pretty settled on how we’re handling it.”
  • “I’m not going to take that in, but I hear you.”

For the chronic offender (someone who keeps coming back)

  • “We’ve talked about this- we’re not changing course.”
  • “I’ve let you know this isn’t something I want input on.”

The subject-change version

  • “Mmm. Anyway…” (and move on)
  • “Noted.” (full stop)

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

The Framework That Works on Everyone in the Room {EP 263}


Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Spotify

Whether you’re supporting a dysregulated eight-year-old, a parent who’s convinced nothing is working, or the version of yourself driving home after a really hard week, the science is exactly the same. Let’s look at how the theory underneath this podcast, Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors, and the BBTI’s Professional Immersion Program are grounded in the same unified relational neuroscience framework. This paradigm supports your work with kids, parents, and yourself. You only have to learn it once, because it scales!

This is the second episode in a row I’ve recorded for professionals and helpers. Next week, we’ll be back with episodes for parents! (Of course, anyone can listen to all of them!)

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why the nervous system framework that explains kids’ behavior is the exact same one that explains parents’ behavior…and yours
  • What it actually means to “be the owl” as a professional, and why that is the intervention
  • Why your reactions to clients aren’t failures of professionalism. Their information, and getting curious about them makes you a better helper

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen to the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Why Helpers Burn Out- and what to do about it {EP 262}


Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Spotify

The helpers ~ therapists, coaches, teachers, advocates ~ are burning out at alarming rates. We talk endlessly about self-care, caseload management, and having better boundaries but almost nobody is addressing the root cause. 

This is a special episode that I recorded for all the professionals who listen. All the helpers who show up day after day because they love to help the parents of kids with big, baffling behaviors. All the helpers who are tired and wondering how much longer they can keep doing this. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why working with clients in chronic protection mode pulls helpers into protection mode too – and how that’s the real starting point of burnout
  • Applying the “all behavior makes sense” framework to your own nervous system responses changes everything about how you work
  • The skill that actually prevents burnout – and why bubble baths and calendar blocking aren’t it

And if you want to learn more, you can join 4000+ other professionals and me in Making Sense of Baffling Behaviors- a 4 part free audio training for professionals!

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

PREORDER A SIGNED COPY NOW! The Guided Journal for Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors

/by

When It’s Not Working: Troubleshooting {EP 261}


Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Spotify

You’ve learned about the nervous system, you’re trying to co-regulate, you’re thinking about felt safety and connection — and the behavior is still happening! WHY?!?! This episode is a troubleshooting guide for exactly that moment. Instead of going back to the drawing board, we’re going deeper into the same map: getting curious about regulation, felt safety, connection, and skills to figure out what the nervous system actually needs.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why the question is never “what consequence haven’t I tried yet?” — and what to ask instead
  • How to troubleshoot each of the four conditions that need to be in place for behavior to be okay: regulation, felt safety, connection, and skills
  • Why a child can “know” a skill and still not be able to access it — and what scaffolding that skill actually looks like

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Podcast Episodes

Books

Free Resources

Paid / Member Resources

  • The Club resource library — includes the troubleshooting worksheet and the Growing a Child’s Owl Brain with Felt Safety packet/workbook (~40 pages) RobynGobbel.com/TheClub
  • Professional Immersion Program — students and alumni also have access to the troubleshooting worksheet RobynGobbel.com/Immersion

In-Person Trainings

Read the full transcript below

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

No Strategy Will Fix This: What Actually Helped Instead {EP 260}


Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Spotify

Listen in on a conversation I have with a Club member whose family lived through years of intense, violent, and deeply isolating behavior…and eventually found their way to something different. It’s a story about holding onto the truth of who your child is, even when everything in front of you makes that feel impossible.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why “just tell me what to do” doesn’t work in the hardest situations, and what actually helps instead
  • How holding onto your child’s true essence can anchor you, even in the most dysregulated moments
  • The small, doable shifts that can begin to change things (even before behavior improves)

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Holding Hope when your Child’s Behavior is Truly Dangerous {EP 259}


Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Spotify

Parenting a child with big, baffling behaviors can feel terrifying sometimes. Especially when those behaviors aren’t just frustrating… they’re dangerous. In this episode, I’m talking with a parent who knows that reality deeply, and who is also finding a way to hold onto hope.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why seeing your child as “good” doesn’t mean ignoring serious or dangerous behavior
  • How one parent stays steady even when others say “this child isn’t worth it”
  • What actually helps behavior change (hint: it’s not punishment, but it’s not the absence of accountability either)

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Creating a Connected Classroom with Marti Smith & Amie Huggins {EP 258}


Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Spotify

What if the biggest barrier to learning in the classroom isn’t behavior… but safety?

Teachers are overwhelmed. Kids are dysregulated. And somewhere in the middle, everyone is trying their best…but it’s not working the way we hoped. In this conversation, I sit down with occupational therapist Marti Smith and educator Amie Huggins to talk about what happens when we bring relational neuroscience into the classroom in real, practical ways.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why behavior in the classroom makes more sense when we see it as communication, not defiance
  • How connection, co-regulation, and felt safety actually support learning (not compete with it)
  • Simple, realistic ways teachers can meet sensory and relational needs—even with a full classroom

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

One Reason why Kids Melt Down after School {EP 257}

When your kid melts down after school, it seems like they just have a bad attitude or don’t want to do homework. But sometimes those explosions have less to do with behavior and more to do with a nervous system that has been working hard to handle sensory stress all day long.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why do many kids fall apart after school, even if they seemed “fine” all day
  • How the sensory environment at school can slowly chip away at a child’s regulation
  • Why after-school meltdowns often happen with the people kids feel safest with

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

 

/by

Your Trauma-Shaped Nervous System Makes Sense {Ep 256}


Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Spotify

Content note: This episode discusses trauma, parenting stress, and nervous system activation. There are no graphic details, but please take care while listening.

If you’ve spent years learning about the nervous system to better support your child, and now you’re ready to offer the same curiosity and compassion to yourself, then this episode is for you. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • How core nervous system concepts like connection vs. protection, regulation, and felt safety apply to your trauma-shaped nervous system
  • Why reactions rooted in watchdog and possum states make sense for you, too 
  • How sensitized stress responses, state-dependent functioning, and a narrowed window of tolerance explain why insight alone isn’t enough

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Grieving as a Parent with a History of Trauma: Part 6 of 6 {EP 255}


Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Spotify

Sometimes the hardest part of parenting isn’t your child’s behavior, it’s the grief that rises up inside you. The grief of not getting what you needed. The grief of still healing while you’re trying to parent intentionally. In this episode, we talk about the quiet, complicated grief that can come with parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system when you have your own history of trauma.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • The core griefs that often emerge when you’re parenting with your own trauma history
  • Why noticing intergenerational patterns can stir shame
  • How to be with your grief using self-compassion and a gentle “touch in, touch out” approach

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Ready to STOP playing behavior whack-a-mole?

I’ll send a free one-hour webinar & eBook

Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior 

Copyright © 2026 Robyn Gobbel. All rights reserved. Site by CurlyHost.