More delight please!!!
Delight. It’s such a neglected piece of the conversation around attachment.
When was the last time you heard about the importance of delight when you were learning about attachment. How does delight apply to therapy from an attachment lens? How does delight apply to parenting?
Delight. Happiness. Pleasure. Good feelings purely for the sake of good feelings.
Like…purple sparkly boots delight.
I was listening to a podcast about sex yesterday (Therapist Uncensored- Unspeakably Sexy) and nodded in agreement when the guest stated that Americans tend to be allergic to pleasure.
How did this happen?!?!
And if we are allergic to pleasure and delight, what is missing from our parenting? Or the therapy space? If it isn’t infused with delight?!
Delight.
Expressing and/or experiencing pleasure for the sake of pleasure. Delight is that moment your kid is adorable beyond words. Not because they accomplished something or did something that made you proud (those are important too…). But delight is absent of any accomplishment. Any task. Delight is simply about existing.
And being delighted in- looking into the face of and coming into emotional contact with someone who is delighting in you- is attachment gold. Delight is what secure attachment is made of!
Are you finding moments of delight in your life?
Because it’s hard to give if you ain’t receiving.
Delight and pleasure are why I’ve spent too much money on P!NK concert tickets this year.
Delight and pleasure are why I started taking aerial silks classes.
Delight and pleasure are why I love going to Costco with my husband. Seriously. We have so much unbelievable amounts of fun. At Costco. One time, the three of us were laughing so hard a woman walking by said “Man, I wish I was in your family.”
Delight and pleasure are why my friendship with my colleague Marshall is strengthening (and blooming with creativity!!!).
Delight and pleasure are not privileged ways of being.
Delight and pleasure are crucial ways of being.
I remember watching “The Book Thief” – historical fiction about living in Germany during World War 2. How even in those horrifying and stressful times, people (especially children!!!) were able to find moments of delight. Delight helps us stay connected to ourselves and our humanity. Delight helps us move into connection with those around us. Delight is like Vitamin C for the soul.
Find ways to have more moments of delight!!!
Robyn
- Gratitude for Our Watchdog & Possum Parts {EP 200} - November 19, 2024
- Scaffolding Relational Skills as Brain Skills with Eileen Devine {EP 199} - November 12, 2024
- All Behavior Makes Sense {EP 198} - October 8, 2024
I love this. I’ve actually been thinking about this this week. Setting the intention to show my delight in the children and families i work with when I go to the waiting room to get them, bump into them in our little town at the grocery, or even think about them throughout the day. I want them co-regulating with “I adore you, just as you are.”
Robyn, you brought delight into my day! I am preparing to speak to 200 foster and adoptive parents in NC on Saturday. Topic is “The Joy of Fostering and Adopting.” I met you years ago at a National Conference and we talked about attachment. We are on the same page. Children attach more easily when they are having fun and engaging in a stress free environment. We have to manage our own stress to free us up to enjoy ourselves and others.
Thank you for your message! Enjoy more PINK concerts!
Donna Foster