Right Where you Need to Be {EP 64}

Robyn: I remember the first time I consciously realized that I was sitting squarely in this place of like, “wow, everything is really awful right now”, while at the same time still able to be pretty content and even grateful, in a way, for the different layers of goodness that do exist in my life even when things are really awful. And maybe you can't even imagine that being true. Like maybe the idea of being able to sit in both places feels impossible to you. And that's okay! It's okay- both places are okay. The place of it feels impossible and the place of yeah, I really can kind of connect to both- both truths at once. Both places are okay. You are exactly, exactly where you need to be. 

Robyn: Maybe this is the year you've come into connection to the truth that you aren’t alone. I mean, you may be extremely lonely. Parenting kids with really big behaviors can be traumatically lonely, and I know plenty of parents that that absolutely is true for. It's- it's extremely lonely. It's traumatically lonely. But at the same time, you aren't alone. Maybe this is the year you've come into connection with the truth that there's absolutely nothing wrong with you or your child. Maybe this is the year you've come into connection with the truth while still being okay with the truth that there are a few things you could keep working to do better. I know that that is certainly true about me. You know, in the last couple of years, I've finally, finally, solidly come to really truly believe that there's just absolutely nothing wrong with me. And y’all, I've worked hard to earn that belief. I've worked hard to solidly believe in the complete truth of that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. And I also know that there are still many, many moments where I get dysregulated, where my hurting inner parts get touched, awakened and overwhelmed, right? And then I behave in a way that hurts me or hurts the people that I love.

Robyn: I can be- I can believe that there is both nothing wrong with me. And that I can keep fiercely working to care for my own inner world so that I don't hurt the people I love or that I hurt them less. Those are, at least, all of my wishes for you. You know, there's very little I can do to change what's hard in your life. You know that. I know that. Even if we had a very personal relationship, I mean even the hundreds of families I've worked with in my therapy room, there's very little I can do to change what's hard in your life, right? But what I can do, and what I strive to do every single day is to show up in your life, whether that's in your earbuds because of his podcast, or in your inbox, or in The Club, where we are getting to know each other well, right? Or maybe you're actually somebody I know really, really well. But regardless of how we are connected, me and you, we are indeed connected. And every single day I strive to show up in your life and remind you of your infinite worth. To remind you that you are worthy of compassion. To remind you that you are a perfectly imperfect human, doing your absolute very best, and so are your kids. 

Robyn: And while helping you see your own infinite worth and how you are deserving of self compassion doesn't change anything about what's hard in your life. Over time, it will help you ride the roller coaster of hard a little more smoothly. So that's what I do. I try to show up and tenaciously prove up to you that you are good and worthy of self compassion. That all behavior makes sense. Yours, your child's, and really everyone else's. 

Robyn: So obviously, I said I sat down to ponder what you need from this final episode of 2021. And I ended up realizing that I actually have really no idea what you need. But this reflection- this reflection is what I needed. And perhaps it ended up being what you needed too. And y'all, I'm ready for a little break. So the podcast will be back in January. I'm not gonna promise you when in January, because honestly, I'm not sure yet. And I don't really want to hold myself to it. In the next few weeks, I'm focusing on my family, I'm focusing on my new incoming cohort of Being With, and I'm focusing on all the parents in The Club. I'm focusing on play, and rest, and the Nutcracker, and spending times in my PJs, and maybe even going downhill skiing if we get lucky enough to get good enough snow. 

Robyn: Y'all, I seriously started this podcast on a whim, I was going to do Facebook lives and I thought I'd throw the audios from those Facebook lives into a podcast feed and voila, I'd have a podcast. So that's what I did for like four or five episodes. And then I realized I kind of hated the Facebook lives but loved the podcasting. I'm a real big fan of like showing up in my PJs. That might be why I'd rather podcasts than get on video. But also, I'd love listening to podcasts and I delight in feeling as the total strangers are my friends because I hear them so often in my earbuds. I delight in the idea that maybe you feel like we know each other. It feels so good to be known. For a podcast on a whim, I'm pretty darn proud of what I've created here. The guests I've been lucky to host, the new friends I've made, the laughter, and the emails that I get from you. Thank you for bringing me on your journey. And thank you for being a part of mine. I will see you right back here in 2022.