Tag Archive for: Parenting

How Attachment Changes (Part 6 of 6) {EP 39}

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Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Spotify

Keep reading or listen on the podcast!

We made it!  Here we are, part 6 of this 6 part series on attachment! 

After a closer look at anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment, you might be wondering “OK, so now what? What do we actually do?  How do we change insecure attachment?”

Even when we fully lean into the truth that the insecure streams of attachment are protective, we can still feel the sense that there is something missing.  

There is a longing and a sadness that continues to go unseen and unmet. A longing and a sadness that is covered up by the behaviors of insecure attachment that unfortunately tend to perpetuate their expectation in relationship instead of meeting their hope.  

What happens if we think less about how to change attachment and more about how we can stay connected to the ways insecure attachment developed?

Something was needed but not received.

To be safe, seen, soothed, and secure are needs.  

When we don’t get the things we need, we develop all sorts of tactics to get that need met.  We remain focused on the short-game, not the long-game. 

What if, instead of focusing on changing attachment, we thought about what was needed in the moments that insecure patterns of attachment started to form, but not received?

Then we can stay curious and open to ways to help that person (or ourselves) receive what they need and are hoping for, and not what they are expecting.   

Helping kids move from insecure to secure attachment always starts with our own.

X-Ray Vision Goggles

Remember how one of the characteristics of secure attachment in caregivers is that they have what I call x-ray vision goggles?

They can see beneath the behavior and respond to the need, not to the behavior.

They can make sense of the child’s behavior without personalizing it.

One way to help our children begin to shift to more security in attachment is to practice putting on our x-ray vision goggles.

This is why I’m so passionate about teaching parents to understand what’s underneath behavior.  For so many parents, making sense of the behavior and truly understanding the underlying neurobiology is a fast path toward developing that x-ray vision!

I have also found that understanding what’s underneath a child’s behavior helps caregivers stay more present and regulated in the moment is difficult behavior, even if they still have no idea what to do about it.  They can more easily de-personalize the behavior and remain in a more compassionate state.  

Not only does this mean that they are less likely to respond in a way that escalates the situation but it’s also true that remaining grounded, present, and compassionate in the face of dysregulated behavior actually is an intervention.

It’s an intervention because it changes our children’s neurobiology.

What was needed?

If insecure attachment means something was needed but not received, then healing insecure attachment means giving now what was needed then.  

Anxious Attachment

Children who develop anxious attachment needed a caregiver who could stay present- not entangled- with their dysregulation without becoming dysregulated themselves. Remember the Venn Diagram?  The child’s distress and the caregiver’s distress merge too much.

Children with anxious attachment haven’t had the opportunity to develop much internalized co-regulation and don’t trust that they can rely on themselves to be OK.  

These children need:

  • Caregivers who can be with their dysregulation without rescuing them from it or merging with them in it.
  • Support and encouragement to discover who they are- their likes and dislikes- because they’ve prioritized figuring out what other people like and dislike so that they can regulate that person and be OK.  

Avoidant Attachment

Children who develop avoidant attachment needed a caregiver who could remain fully emotionally present and embodied, allowing some of the child’s distress to resonate in the caregiver’s body.  Remember the Venn Diagram?  The child’s distress and the caregiver’s don’t resonate enough.

Children with avoidant attachment have learned to over-rely on what I call (and I first heard this term from Stan Tatkin) ‘autoregulation’- a way of coping with their internal distress without relying on co-regulation but also not true self-regulation (since self-regulation is developed after repeated experiences of co-regulation).  

These children need:

  • Caregivers who can be with their dysregulation even though they don’t demonstrate dysregulation by offering presence, compassion, co-regulation, and attunement.  These caregiver’s recognize that the ‘miscue’ of avoidant attachment is to look cool, calm, and collected; they trust that the child does have emotional needs even if they aren’t demonstrating them.  
  • Help recognizing their own sensations and feelings as well as the feelings and sensations of others.

Disorganized Attachment

Children who develop disorganized attachment needed a caregiver who was not mean, weak, or gone (Circle of Security).  These children have internalized the disorganization and chaos from the caregiver’s nervous system.  This internalization of chaos is what is causing the bizarre, chaotic and confusing behavior they now demonstrate.  

These children need:

  • Caregivers who can stay present and regulated
  • Caregivers who can see that it’s the child’s internal disorganization that is causing difficult behavior.  It’s actually very simple- but extremely challenging.  

Rupture and Repair

One of the most fascinating aspects of attachment research is that children who develop insecure attachment receive relatively the same amount of attunement from their caregivers as children who develop insecure attachment.

What’s the difference then??

Caregivers with secure attachment offer repair to their child when there has been a rupture.

Caregivers with secure attachment notice when they have fallen out of synchrony and attunement with their child.

They can regulate through the rupture themselves and then take a step in the dance toward repair.  

It is so brave and so vulnerable to repair with someone after there has been a rupture in your relationship.

It feels especially brave and vulnerable to do this with our children.

What if learning the art of repair could lead to more secure attachment in your child- and in you??

It can and it does.  

This simple truth has brought so much relief to the families I work with- and myself.

Healing attachment has nothing to do with being a perfect parent.  


What children need is for their parents to put their x-ray vision goggles on as often as possible so they can see their children who is hiding behind the behavior.  They need parents who see their true selves- an imperfectly perfect child who is struggling in that moment.

What children need is for their parents to be regulated themselves enough that they can provide the co-regulation and soothing that the child needs.  Not 100% of the time.  Just enough.

What children need is for their parents to repair when things have gone awry.  They need their parents to see that a relationship rupture has occurred and then be brave enough to make a repair.

What children need is parents who practice self-compassion because self-compassion leads to a more secure state of mind in the caregiver.  A more secure state of mind makes it easier to put on those x-ray vision goggles, see beneath the behavior, soothe the dysregulation, and make a repair when they need to.  

Luckily, you are in the right place.

This is a place where you will discover you are worthy of self-compassion.  Click around the blog- you’ll see that quickly!

This is a place where you will learn about what’s underneath your child’s challenging behaviors so you can put on those x-ray vision goggles and meet their real need.  

This is a place where you can go deeper if you want.

In Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain you will become an expert at putting on those x-ray vision goggles.  You’ll learn how to respond based on how dysregulated your child really is.  You’ll learn how to repair- with yourself, and your child.

In The Club, you’ll receive what you need so that you can give your child what they need- more connection and more co-regulation. The Club is a virtual community just for parents of kids with a history of trauma (and the professionals who support them).

Children with a history of trauma or big, baffling behavior are so overwhelming to parent!  It’s lonely, isolating, and just plain hard.  The Club is a place to be seen and known.  It’s a place to undo the aloneness.  It’s a place to give and receive the connection and co-regulation you need so that you can parent the way you want to.  

The Club welcomes new members approximately every three months!  Our doors will fling open and you can strut down the glittery (virtual) red carpet between June 29 and July 6.  You can read all about The Club, including testimonials from current Club members, HERE.  

Did you love this series?

I did!  So much that I had all six blogs turned into a beautiful, downloadable PDF e-book.  With the e-book, you’ll be able to easily re-read the series without being online.  It’s also beautiful, if I do say so myself.

I’d love to send you the e-book right now!  Just let me know below the email address where you’d like me to send it!

Thank you for everything you are doing for kids and their families.  You’re part of a world-changing movement of change-makers.

Robyn

Don’t forget to check out this week’s podcast all about attachment, too!   You can listen to the podcast directly on my website HERE or search for Parenting after Trauma wherever you listen to podcasts- iTunes, Google Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, and more!

The Club will be opening for new members June 29 – July 6!!!  After that, we pause registration so we can welcome everyone and cultivate a space where everyone has the opportunity to feel seen and known.  We’ll open the doors again in the fall!

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The Tragedy of Disorganized Attachment (Part 5 of 6) {EP 38}

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Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Spotify

Disorganized attachment is the only ‘attachment style’ (I remain reluctant to consider attachment a style, but it is indeed the word used by researchers and such, so for now, I’ll keep using it) that is both insecure and disorganized.

It is the only attachment style in the disorganized category.

Remember how both insecure anxious and insecure avoidant, as well as secure, fall in the organized category because those babies develop a predictable way of getting their needs met?  

There is no predictability or organized solution in disorganized attachment.

Keep reading or listen on the podcast!

Because disorganized attachment is underneath much of the bizarre, baffling, confusing, and overwhelming behaviors that have us searching the internet for help (with our parenting, our partnerships, our friendships), it’s easy to lose connection to the truth that attachment patterns aren’t good or bad.

They simply just are.

Even disorganized attachment, which can feel like anguish for the child and for the adults, is protective.

But of course, it is not without great cost.  

Bowlby’s Three Attachment Behaviors

In Part 1, The Basics of Attachment, we looked at three attachment behaviors that were identified by Bowlby.  

  •         They seek, monitor, and maintain proximity to their caregiver. 
  •         They use their attachment figure as their secure base.
  •         They flee to their caregiver when they are afraid

What happens when babies flee toward the caregiver when they are afraid, but it was the caregiver who is creating the fright?

Two Opposing Forces

When our fight/flight DANGER DANGER systems are engaged, the next system to come online is our seeking safety system.  Attachment is an inborn system that is first and foremost about physical safety!  When the DANGER DANGER system becomes engaged, the attachment system kicks in next in order to promote survival, and babies flee to their caregiver looking for safety and co-regulation.  

This is a safe haven behavior.  The baby is seeking both safety and co-regulation.  The baby needs a safe, regulated adult to co-organize their feelings!

Imagine then, that a baby experiences a fright and turns toward their attachment figure for safety and co-regulation.

But that person is the same person who caused the fight?

At the very least, that becomes a terrifyingly confusing experience.  

Are you here to help me?  Or hurt me?

On top of that confusing terror, when the caregiver who is supposed to offer co-regulation is instead causing dysregulation, this situation leaves the baby all alone with terrifying feelings.

The baby is frightened, dysregulated, and in need of co-regulation in order to be safe, seen, soothed, and secure but instead receives more fear, terror, or loneliness.  Their fright isn’t co-regulated.  They are’t soothed and seen.  They don’t receive help organizing their feelings.

This then activates their DANGER DANGER system.  Again.  

Spinning in Circles

And then what happens?

They flee toward their caregiver.

Except their caregiver isn’t available to soothe them; in fact, the caregiver may continue to be the source of terror.

So their DANGER DANGER system gets activated and then they flee toward their caregiver.

Except their caregiver isn’t available to soothe them; in fact, the caregiver may continue to be the source of terror.

So their DANGER DANGER system gets activated and then they flee toward their caregiver.

Except their caregiver isn’t available to soothe them; in fact, the caregiver may continue to be the source of terror.

So their DANGER DANGER system gets activated and then they flee toward their caregiver.

Except their caregiver isn’t available to soothe them; in fact, the caregiver may continue to be the source of terror.

So their DANGER DANGER system gets activated and then they flee toward their caregiver.

If it feels intolerable in this moment, imagine this happening over and over and over and over…

For me, a spinning sense emerges.  Turning in circles.  A frantic ‘go toward go away go toward go away’ sensation.

All while being all alone.

No Solution

Disorganized attachment is disorganized because there is no solution.

It’s an unsolvable dilemma.  

This baby’s nervous system remains in a state of chaos.  Chaos is what embeds into their nervous system and becomes a part of the implicit memory of attachment.

Mean, Weak, or Gone

The Circle of Security talks about disorganizing experiences for a baby as times when their caregiver is “Mean, Weak, or Gone.”

I’ve never found a more helpful way to quickly conceptualize and easily remember the types of experiences that lead to disorganization.

Mean

This is typically what we think about when we imagine what happens to create disorganized attachment.  This caregiver is abusive or humiliating.  They likely have an implicit awakening of their own terror, of being terrified or of a caregiving causing terror.  This implicit awakening floods their nervous system, they move into a state of extreme fear, and behaviors that are experienced as terrifying (abusive, humiliating) emerge.  Now the child is terrified and has no where to flee- they have lost both their safe haven and their secure base.    

But there are two other caregiver behaviors that are experienced as terrifying, and therefore, disorganizing to a baby.

Weak

This caregiver becomes flooded with dysregulation and fear, and is no longer able to provide a secure base or safe haven for their child because they energetically collapse.  They are in a state of fright themselves, possibly because of their own experiences of being abused or victimized, or because their past experiences of terror flood their nervous system and they move into a state of fear.  This is terrifying for the child because in the parent’s collapse and fearfulness (sometimes even of the child!) the child has lost their safe haven and secure base.  The parent isn’t available to co-regulate the child’s feelings of fear and terror!  The child is left all alone with their own experience of terror.  

Gone

This caregiver is either physically or energetically gone.  The child may be left all alone for a very long time- longer than a baby should ever be left alone.  Inevitably, babies have needs!   They will coo or cry or fuss or do something to alert their caregiver that they need to be safe, seen, soothed, and secure.  But what if no one comes?  What if the caregiver isn’t frightening (mean) or frightened (weak) but actually not even there at all?

Sometimes caregivers, due to their own significant histories of trauma and terror, are physically present but energetically gone.  They may become swept away in their own state of disorganization and ultimately, dissociation.  The child turns toward their parent to have their experience co-regulated, and the caregiver is physically present but unable to be the safe haven.  The caregiver cannot see the baby, nor can they provide safety, soothing, or security.

Implicit Awakenings

It’s important to take a breath here and remember that caregivers who could be considered mean, weak, or gone are swept away from their own implicit experiences.  They are caregivers with their own history of attachment disorganization and are extremely vulnerable to the past in which they also had experiences of being terrified because someone was acting terrifying.  

No Solution

Disorganizing experiences imbed in the nervous system as chaotic and confusing.  They lack coherence or organization.

These children often become chaotic and confusing.  They are extremely difficult to care for because they send very mixed signals about what they need and want.  

They may adapt to this disorganization by developing a protective part that decreases their reliance on others.  This may cause them to behave in controlling and manipulative ways.  

The disorganization remains because connection is a biological imperative and there is a part of their nervous system that continues to desperately search and long for connection.

Their nervous system is tied in metaphorical knots.  They are exhausted.  They remain in an almost constant state of arousal without any authentically developed self-regulation and without any trust or willingness to seek out co-regulation.

They remain in the proverbial spinning circle of disorganization.  Like a tornado.  

And regretfully, their caregivers are dysregulated, too, because it is highly dysregulating to care for a child with this level of disorganization.

Hope and Expectation

Just like in the babies with insecure anxious and insecure avoidant attachment, babies who develop disorganized attachment always remain hopeful they’ll get their needs met, but they continue to expect to be terrified and all alone.

They behave in ways that match this expectation and evoke  from their caregiver what they expect- terror, rejection, and more disorganization.  They remain convinced that the world is unsafe, they are all alone, and must rely only on themselves to be OK.

Pockets of Attachment Memory

Take a breath with me now.

It’s possible that even if disorganized attachment isn’t your primary experience in attachment relationships that you likely had some disorganizing experiences during your earliest, preverbal experiences.  None of us had perfect parents.  

Sometimes, disorganizing experiences happen despite the parents best attempt to avoid them, like when there is medical trauma.  I can remember so clearly the time my son was sleeping in a different room–which was unique and probably already somewhat disorienting for him– and the baby monitor was unintentionally not turned on. I woke to him crying but it was clear when I finally got to him that  he’d been crying for a very, very long time.  He was all alone with his fear; no one was available to co-regulate him.  This one experience isn’t enough to create disorganized attachment as his primary attachment pattern but the memory may still live in his nervous system.  

If you are parenting a child who has bizarre behavior and you know that some of their previous attachment experiences would have been considered disorganizing, you also know the felt sense of disorganization because of being with them when their own pockets of disorganization have come alive in their nervous system (and the resulting bizarre behavior).

Take another breath now.

The Tragedy of Disorganized Attachment

Disorganized attachment is a tragedy.  Seeking connection is how we develop regulation.  It’s how we develop our sense of who we are.  Attachment experiences lay our foundation for how we see and view ourselves and the world.

Children with disorganized attachment significantly lack the ability to regulate themselves and they lack the trust to turn to others.  Their attachment system propels them toward the very thing they are terrified of.  This system is innate- it doesn’t go away.  There is the constant chaos of ‘go toward go away go toward go away’ that swirls in their neurobiology.  And no way out.

Anxious and Avoidant

If you are parenting a child who has a history of experiences in attachment that would have been disorganized, you likely also recognize in them pieces from the blog on anxious attachment or avoidant attachment.

Most children who would be classified as disorganized also demonstrate behaviors of anxious attachment (extremely clingy or possibly indiscriminate with attachment- engaging in intense connection behaviors with almost anyone) or behaviors of avoidant attachment (extremely aloof, behaves as though they need no one, care about no one).  

Untangling Disorganized Attachment

There is hope.  

Children with insecure attachment need to receive now what they should have received then.

In the next and final blog of this attachment series, we’ll look a bit more closely at what that means.

What did a child who developed anxious attachment need but not receive?

What did a child who developed avoidant attachment need but not receive?

What did a child who developed disorganized attachment need but not receive?

It isn’t easy to give children what they needed but did receive- particularly because they evoke in their caregivers what they expect, not what they hope for.

Mostly what they need is to be seen, safe, soothed, and secure.

This is very very hard to do for a child who has behaviors that emerge from insecure attachment.

Very hard.

But not impossible.

Free eBook- Brilliance of Attachment

This is part 5 of 6 in a month-long series all about attachment- getting back to the basics.  What is attachment?  What is secure versus insecure?  Why does it matter?  How does attachment develop?  And ultimately then- how do we change it???

You can keep reading on my blog and listening on my podcast.

I’d also love to send you the F R E E eBook I created based on this series.  With the eBook, you’ll have the entire series in one, downloadable PDF you can store on your device, print, and access whenever you want.  It’s beautiful (and it’s not just me that thinks so!  I keep getting emails from folks swooning over the gorgeous design- which I did not do myself!)

Just let me know below the email address where you’d like me to send it!

Robyn

Don’t forget to check out this week’s podcast all about attachment, too!   You can listen to the podcast directly on my website HERE or search for Parenting after Trauma wherever you listen to podcasts- iTunes, Google Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, and more!

The Club will be opening for new members this fall!  Grab your spot on the waiting list now!

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The Basics of Attachment (Part 1 of 6) {EP 34}

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If you have an idea and most of your colleagues hate it, it might be a good one.

It might even be a great one.  One that changes the trajectory of your field.  And even humanity.

An idea like Attachment theory.

John Bowlby’s idea that children’s development was impacted by how they were cared for was not a popular one. 

He persevered. 

Keep reading or listen on the podcast!

Bowlby offered to the world that each of us has an inborn system that has ultimately been labeled our attachment system.  More than that, it was Bowlby who first suggested that a child’s attachment to caregiver ensures that child’s physical and emotional survival.

Bowlby told us the connection is a biological imperative long before Stephen Porges, MD gave us the science to back that up.

We need connection to survive.  Physically.  First and foremost, out attachment system keeps us alive.

Babies, Bowlby said, are born with the drive to maintain both connection and distance. Togetherness and autonomy.  Ultimately Bowlby came to identify these different drives and how they are expressed, labeling them ‘safe haven’ (behaviors that keep us close) and ‘secure base’ (behaviors that allow for autonomy, curiosity, and exploration). 

Attachment Behaviors

Interestingly, a strong secure base relies upon first having a strong safe haven.

Bowlby noticed that babies have three different attachment behaviors.

  •  They seek, monitor, and maintain proximity to their caregiver. 
    • Babies cry.  They are completely adorable.  They have unique behaviors and features that keep us drawn to them.  Eventually their motor skills develop and they can crawl, creep, walk, and then run toward their caregivers.  We now know from neuroscience that baby’s brains internalize their caregivers.  They literally create patterns of neural firings that represent their caregiver.  As they grow older, they can seek and maintain proximity to their caregiver in their minds. 
  •   They use their attachment figure as their secure base.
    • When a baby’s needs for proximity are met and their nervous systems are repeatedly soothed, their innate and inborn natural desire for learning, curiosity, and exploration opens up.  They begin to explore and return.  Tiny babies do this with their eyes and then their limited motor ability, but of course as babies grow older they crawl away from their caregiver- not just toward.  A baby’s secure base behaviors (explore!!) are supported by the fact that they know their caregiver is there and available.
  • They flee to their caregiver when they are afraid
    • When babies become overwhelmed and aroused, when they have a need they can’t meet themselves whether that’s a physical need or a emotional need (to be soothed!),  they turn back toward their attachment figure- to their safe haven.   These two systems work in harmony (afraid??? Find safety!) to create physical safety and ultimately emotional regulation.

Then Bowlby took this all an additional step further.

As development unfolds and children experiment with behaviors that keep people close, behaviors that allow for their autonomy and curiosity, and how to balance these relational opposites, children also begin to develop and internalize ideas about themselves, others, and the environment.

Hold this thought for a minute because we are going to come back to these internalized ideas but first, we need to look over at Mary Ainsworth.

Mary Ainsworth

Oh Mary Ainsworth.  Ainsworth took Bowlby’s theories and really did the work that was needed in order for attachment to be a part of our every day language. 

Ainsworth, through dedicating her life to science, attachment, parent/child pairs, and keen observation, learned that attachment systems are malleable- they can be shaped.  She taught us that attachment is about a parent’s non-verbal communication and interactions with their babies– it’s not what parents do for their babies, it’s how they do it. 

Ainsworth’s work brought us The Strange Situation- a ground breaking, simple, and short lab experiment that still holds up today and allows us to begin to classify an infant’s attachment to their caregiver.

Through Ainsworth’s work and The Strange Situation, as well as the continued work of the brilliant Mary Main, we now have language to describe attachment behavior. 

  • Secure
  • Insecure
    • Avoidant
    • Anxious
    • Disorganized (added later based on Main’s work)

We also now understand that not only can we categorize attachment based on secure and insecure, we can also categorize it based on organized and disorganized.

  •   Organized
    • Secure
    • Avoidant
    • Anxious
  • Disorganized

You’ll have to keep reading this series as it unfolds if to learn more about secure vs. insecure and organized vs. disorganized. Stay tuned!

Back to Bowlby

For now, let’s go back to Bowlby’s idea that attachment lays the foundation for a child’s ‘inner working model’ about themselves, their caregiver, and the environment.

Bowlby asserted, and decades of attachment research now supports, that a child’s earliest and most repeated experiences in the attachment relationship shape their view of well, basically everything.

Babies who would end up being classified as having secure attachment become children who are confident in themselves, believe they have power and autonomy, believe they are good people even though they sometimes do things that are not good, and believe that generally speaking, other people are good too.

These beliefs about ourselves, the world, and other people ultimately become like a pair of colored glasses we can never take off or even know we are wearing.  They impact how we see and experience everything. 

Attachment and relationships

Now, neuroscience and memory science helps us understand that babies have memory- it’s just that they have memory that’s called implicit as opposed to explicit.  Meaning- babies surely hold onto experiences in a way that help them predict future experiences.  They just don’t have the explicit felt-sense of “Oh!!! I remember!!!”

For example, after having the experience a few times, a baby starts to know that when their caregiver opens the fridge and brings out that one container, it means that they will get to eat soon.  If they’ve had positive experiences with being nurtured and fed, they become physically excited.  Their digestive system begins working to prepare their body for food.  They might move toward their caregiver with delight and anticipation.  All of this happens because they have implicit memory about what that one container means is going to happen next.  They don’t have the felt sense of remembering “Oh!!!  Yesterday what came out of that container was yummy!!!  And when I get fed by my mommy I feel so loved and warned and nurtured and she looks at me with such warm eyes!  I can’t wait for that to happen again!!”

But they do indeed, obviously, remember.  And then anticipate what’s about to happen.

Well, the same is true for attachment and relationships. 

Repeated experiences of being safe, seen, and soothed by their caregiver (or not) creates implicit memory about themselves (I’m good!!!  And adored!!!  My voice has power and helps me get what I need!!!), their caregiver (I can trust grown ups!!  They aren’t perfect but overall they help me get what I need!) and their environment (The world is mostly safe and predictable!!).

This is what Bowlby was talking about when he said attachment leads to a baby’s inner working model.  These repeated attachment experiences lay the foundation for how baby’s experience themselves, other people, and the world.

Free eBook- Brilliance of Attachment

This is part 1 of 6 in a month-long series all about attachment- getting back to the basics.  What is attachment?  What is secure versus insecure?  Why does it matter?  How does attachment develop?  And ultimately then- how do we change it???

You can keep reading on my blog and listening on my podcast.

I’d also love to send you the F R E E eBook I created based on this series.  With the eBook, you’ll have the entire series in one, downloadable PDF you can store on your device, print, and access whenever you want.  It’s beautiful (and it’s not just me that thinks so!  I keep getting emails from folks swooning over the gorgeous design- which I did not do myself!)

Just let me know below the email address where you’d like me to send it!

Robyn

Don’t forget to check out this week’s podcast all about attachment, too!   You can listen to the podcast directly on my website HERE or search for Parenting after Trauma wherever you listen to podcasts- iTunes, Google Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, and more!

The Club will be opening for new members this fall!  Grab your spot on the waiting list now!

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