Helping Kids with Toxic Shame {BONUS}


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One of the most tragic byproducts of experiencing relational trauma, especially in the first months and years of life, is a powerful protector of self-hatred and toxic shame. Sometimes this toxic shame is directed inward at the self and sounds like “I hate me”, and sometimes it’s projected outward and sounds like “I hate you!”

All the current advice for parenting a child with a history of relational trauma places a heavy emphasis on connection.

As parents of kids who have been hurt, you long to show your kids that they are worthy of connection, that connection is safe, and that they are perfectly precious.

The trickster protector of self-hatred can be so powerful that our children can start to doubt the trustworthiness of adults who tell them about their goodness. It actually feels to them like their grownups are lying to them, which raises suspicion and leads to wondering “What do you want from me?”

This leaves us, the adults who love them and see their preciousness, quite stuck.

How do we mirror to a child that we see their protector of self-hatred, but also that their protector is playing tricks on them, trying protecting them from more hurt by convincing themselves they are hate-able? Loving this child can leave us feeling trapped- like no matter what we do or what we say, it’s the wrong thing.

This self-hatred is held within a pocket of memory called disorganized attachment.

Held inside that memory network is the experience of being trapped, always wrong, and with no way out. It makes sense that when we are with someone who is experiencing a moment of self-hatred that we feel trapped, always wrong, and as though there is no way out. You are feeling what your child is feeling.

I have no brilliant solution to this.

The self-hatred and toxic shame is longing for presence, attunement, and someone who is able to just be with them without trying to change them. Yet, this self-hated will also evoke behaviors that will push you away. Perhaps one of the greatest challenges I’ve run across is how to stay present and attuned with someone who is desperate for you to be present and attuned, yet also desperate to avoid the vulnerability of feeling someone be present and attuned.

For me, there is something regulating about understanding why things happen. It helps me feel seen, not crazy, and more organized in my mind. This brings about another moment or two of regulation and also me to stay present with myself- or someone else- inside the pocket of self-hatred and disorganization.

Maybe it’ll help you, too?

When kids express negative thoughts about themselves, it can be super easy to want to contradict them and show them the truth- what WE see in them.  It’s almost PAINFUL not to!  

It can unfortunately make us MORE untrustworthy to our kids to insist that we know they are wonderful/smart/kind etc. when they are insisting they aren’t.

It can have a felt sense “you just don’t know me fully” and “if i showed you the real me then you’d really know I was bad” or “you are lying to me and can’t be trusted.”

I know that could sound extreme.  I’ve work with hundreds and hundreds of kids (and adults, who sometimes articulate things more clearly) but I also know this from my own lived experience.

And it did eventually shift.  I did eventually learn, in my heart, that my therapist and husband weren’t actually lying to me.  But for years I believed they were and it hurt felt safety, didn’t help it.

When our kids say really hard things about themselves to us, validate them first.   It’s so hard to validate a feeling like “I hate myself!” because we don’t want to give the impression we agree.  But validating is not agreeing.

Validation can sound like “You have huge yucky feelings.  That must feel so bad.”

or “You feel like you are a terrible person.”

and if you child says “I KNOW I’m a terrible person” you can reflect back “You KNOW you’re a terrible person. It doesn’t just feel true- you know it’s true.”

This isn’t agreeing with them.  It’s giving them a moment of “I’m not afraid of your huge feelings and I’m willing to be in them with you.”

Once you have some connection reestablished with your child, you can say “I know it might feel like I’m lying or I’m just your mom so of course I have to say this, but you are precious.  I know you’re precious because I believe all humans are precious.  You are uniquely precious and special in your own ways, but I actually believe this is true about all people.  So of course you’re included in that!”

Now of course, if you’re you’re going to say that to your child you’ve gotta believe that- that all humans are precious.  Part of The Club manifesto is that “all people have infinite worth” and this helps us stay strongly anchored in believing our kids- and ourselves- our precious so that we are trust worthy to them when we say things like this.

I have seen that holding this as a universal belief is the only thing that is eventually helpful to people who believe they are terrible people.  Because then I’m not trying to convince them that THEY are precious and full of infinite worth- which frankly, I never would.  It’s just a universal truth about all people and they are not the exception to the rule.

But attune to the reality that “It might feel like I’m lying or like I don’t know the real you and if I only did know the real you then I wouldn’t believe you were precious.  I know if feels that way.  That must feel terrible.”  Then you can add something like ” We’ll just have to sit together in this hard place where you don’t believe me that I know you are precious. I know you are precious because I believe at their core, all humans are.”

And then, take time to grieve.  It’s so so painful to love someone who is plagued with toxic shame.  Toxic shame needs us to be present, with no agenda to change it.  That’s a big ask.  We just have to Be With it.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to connect with you in this short bonus episode.  This one ended up being not that short, but I wanted to make sure I included those practical tips.  If this resonated with you, please share the podcast.  If you’d like more connection, more support, more co-regulation, and more education, please consider joining us over in the Club.  We would love to have you.  Until next time!

Robyn

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When Parenting is Traumatic {EP 95}


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Something we don’t talk about enough…

No matter how much effort we put into understanding behavior, seeing our kids for who they truly are, and connecting with their infinite worth, for those navigating the baffling behaviors of kids who have experienced trauma, or have sensitized stress response systems and/or vulnerable nervous systems…

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Parenting Can Be Traumatic

Sure, we’ve talked about the secondary trauma that can come along with parenting a child who’s impacted by trauma.

The National Child Traumatic Stress Network defines secondary traumatic stress as the emotional duress that results when an individual hears about the firsthand trauma experiences of another.

But that’s not the whole story.

Trauma & Toxic Stress

Dr. Stephen Porges says trauma disrupts our capacity to feel safe. Feeling safe and being physically safe aren’t the same thing. Felt-safety is what matters when we are talking about trauma.

Dr. Bruce Perry defines Toxic Stress as stress that is extreme, unpredictable, and prolonged.

Has parenting disrupted your capacity to feel safe? And has it been stress that is extreme, unpredictable and prolonged?

For many of you, the answer is YES, It’s traumatic

You are having hundreds and hundreds of experiences that I would define as traumatic.

What all these experiences boil down to is the trauma and toxic stress of feeling so unseen, and so very alone.

Validation and Hope

I want to give you hope that even before the chaos in your family changes, there really are things that can help strengthen your stress response system. Practical things. Things that don’t have to take more time. The #1 thing is connection. To be seen and known. Find a place to be seen and known. You deserve it.

I want you to know you aren’t alone, and more families than you can imagine all over the globe are experiencing what you’re experiencing. There is much grief, yet much connection in that truth.

I see you.

Listen to the podcast or read the full episode transcript to learn some of the reasons I believe your experiences are defined as trauma, signs that you might be experiencing trauma and toxic stress, and ways to attend to your own nervous system.

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on the Parenting after Trauma podcast.

Find the Parenting after Trauma podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Would you like to explore a complete paradigm-shift on how we see behavior? You can watch my F R E E 45(ish) minute-long masterclass on What Behavior Really Is and How to Change It.

Just let me know where to send the links!

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When Parenting Advice Hurts {BONUS}


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A short note from Robyn…

How many parenting experts do you follow on social media?

How tall is your stack of parenting books?

Blogs? Podcasts?

Sheesh, even the next door neighbor and the checkout person at the grocery store seem happy to give parenting advice.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if your child’s vulnerable nervous system was healed by an Instragram reel?

There’s some pretty amazing, grounded, authentic voices out there giving some pretty amazing, grounded, and authentic thoughts and ideas about raising kids.

I’m grateful to them- they aren’t doing anything wrong.

But I know it’s also just one more place you feel very unseen.

Or worse- even some shame.

“If this person has 1 million followers on Instagram and a popular podcast it must mean their advice works, right?

Why does it work for everyone- except me?”

Parenting can be an experience that unites us- but it is also an experience that causes more isolation.

Oh and I suppose I should mention that I’m not convinced that vulnerable nervous systems need healed.  Maybe what they need is to live in a world that supports their needs?  Maybe if that happened, their vulnerable nervous system wouldn’t lead to dangerous behaviors?  I don’t know…

The worst part of all of this is that the families in the most desperate need of a quick solution that is memeable or reel-able are the families who aren’t helped by memeable or reel-able solutions.  

It’s not that those ideas are bad- they just aren’t enough.

I know you do not have time to learn the complex neuroscience of behavior so you can figure out what on earth is going on with your kid (and yourself) because you are constantly putting out fires and cleaning up messes and recovering from the exhaustion of being yelled at by your kid as well as continually let down by all the services and professionals who are supposed to help you but aren’t.

I also know you didn’t become a parent so you could learn about the amazing science of behavior.  I mean- I think it’s amazing because it’s my job.  But yeah- it wasn’t your plan.

I recently said to my therapist “This is not the way my life was supposed to unfold.”  She smiled and said “You and everyone else.”

To be fair, me and her have been together for a loooooong time and our relationship is at a place where I didn’t feel minimized.  I had a moment of relief actually.  Of being connected to- well- everyone.  

This isn’t the way life was supposed to unfold.

I want you to have the space to grieve that, to revolt against, to shake your fist at the sky and stomp your feet.  Like I do.

Then I want you to have the space to take a breath.

To welcome and comfort your tantrumming-self because it’s not fair.

And then maybe it will feel OK to take a breath, attune to yourself that indeed it’s not fair and it isn’t what you planned.  But here we are.

Together.

And you aren’t alone in that.  There are more families of kids with vulnerable nervous systems around the globe than I could even begin to county.

More families of kids who have survived horrifying trauma.

More parents who have survived trauma themselves who are just trying to not pass it on…or at least pass it on less.

My podcast just passed 300,000 listens.

THAT’S A LOT OF PEOPLE.

I’m devastated at how many people need my help. But also- you aren’t alone.

OK OK, this email got rambley which tends to happen when I just sit down to write without a clear goal.  My only goal when I opened up my browser was “I haven’t sent an email in a while.  I miss them.  I want to connect.”

And then this all just dumped out.

I’m been making a few reels here and there in Instagram which I totally know is ironic since I just said reel-able ideas are often leaving you feeling alone but I’m trying to make reels that help you feel the opposite.  Sometimes I succeed sometimes I fail.  If you wanna join me on the success/failure rupture/repair journey, come hang with me on Instagram.

Robyn

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Stress Response System {EP 94}


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Another important piece of understanding what is underneath your child’s big, baffling behaviors is the Stress Response System. Our Stress Response System plays a huge role in our children’s behaviors and also how we perceive those behaviors.

Keep reading of listen on the podcast

What is stress?

Dr. Bruce Perry defines stress as a demand on one or more of our body’s many physiological systems. Life is full of stressors! Hunger, exercise, attachment ruptures, all put stress on the body and give us information about what our body needs or lets us know that something really important is happening that needs attention. Stress is not inherently good nor bad, but it can be damaging.

Good Stress vs. Bad Stress 

What differentiates a good stressor from a bad stressor is the pattern at which it is experienced. Dr. Perry says that when stress is experienced in a way that is predictable, reliable, and controllable, it stimulates growth without injury. However when stress is experienced in a way that is unpredictable, extreme or prolonged, it can be damaging (especially to the developing brain).

Stress Response System

What happens next, what the body does in response to stress (things like fight/flight, a cascade of chemicals, etc.) is the Stress Response System. The Stress Response System is largely developed in the earliest months of life.

“The experiences of the first two months of life have a disproportionately important impact on your long-term health and development. This has to do with the remarkably rapid growth of the brain early in life, and the organization of those all-important core regulatory networks.” Perry

Trauma, marginalization, neurodivergence, toxic stress, adverse childhood experiences all create a disruption to the developing stress response system. 

The result of these “bad patterns” of stress is a system that is sensitized to stress.

Impact on behaviors

  • Overactive and reactive
  • Mountain out of a molehill
  • Impaired regulation
  • Default to danger-danger

Regardless of why the stress response system has become sensitized, the path to building resiliency is always the same- co-regulation, connection and presence, and lots of felt safety. In The Club, we talk about how we can provide our kids with scaffolding or offer the boundaries that they need to be successful; we explore specific ways to offer felt safety; and we look at ways to strengthen the foundation of the brain. (You may want to check out my series on strengthening the foundation of the brain HERE).

Our stress response system plays a huge role in our kids’ behaviors and how we perceive those behaviors. It doesn’t change how HARD those behaviors are but, you know…

Changing how we see people, changes people.

Instead of: dramatic, manipulative, overreacting, spoiled, or bratty 

Try out: sensitized stress response system 

…and see how that helps YOUR stress response system.  

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on the Parenting after Trauma podcast.

Find the Parenting after Trauma podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Would you like to explore a complete paradigm-shift on how we see behavior? You can watch my F R E E 45(ish) minute-long masterclass on What Behavior Really Is and How to Change It.

Just let me know where to send the links!

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A Kayak Fell on My Head {BONUS}


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A short note from Robyn…

I love kayaking.  LOVE it.

I love water, but mostly I love looking at water so kayaking is the most perfect way to be surrounded by water and looking at it.  While not talking to anyone.  Perfection.

I especially love kayaking at 6am, when everyone else is asleep.

That means, I needed to figure out how to transport my own kayak.  Without question, I am not learning to drive with a trailer hitched to my car.  That simply will not ever happen.

Keep Reading or Listen on the Podcast

Kayak roof rack it is, then.

I grossly underestimated how challenging this would be.  The hoisting, the lifting, the balancing, the strapping.

When I dropped the kayak on my head, I was ready to give up.  It’s too hard, I thought.  I can’t do it, I thought.

In almost all areas of my life- except work- my instinct is to give up when things get hard.  I collapse.

So I took breath and thought to myself- people figure out how to do hard things all the time.  Figure it out. I can climb fabric 30 feet in the air and flip myself upside down.  I can surely lift a kayak, right?

Then I asked myself “What’s the real problem here?  Why does giving up sound so appealing?”

Shame.

The shame of fumbling with the kayak in public at the boat launch felt like more than I could manage.

AND!  When I’m ready to hoist it back onto the roof of my car, it will be WET!!!!  Lake water will drip on my head and it will be slippery.

Making it all the most likely I’ll panic and drop it on my head.  Then my foot.  Then I’ll fall down and everyone will point and laugh.

Shame is sneaky.  Shame has kept me from doing so many things.  So. Many. It’s painful and sad.

I had a moment of compassion for myself.

Took another breath.

I’ll just have to practice, I thought.

Yesterday, I put the kayak on my car and took it off FIVE TIMES.  

Practice.

Why did I expect I’d be able to do it without practice?  Like I should just be able to lift a boat over my head and strap it to the roof of my car without ever trying it?

Everything we do takes practice.  

Parenting.

Reframing our kids behaviors.

Self compassion.

Sometimes it goes well.  Sometimes it doesn’t.  Sometimes the risk feels too big and we give up.  Sometimes we try again.

All those options are OK.  They have to be OK.  

It’s taken me decades, lots of therapy, and solid supportive relationships to consider other ways to approach a problem than to just give up.

Making changes, feeling safe enough to try a new way- it takes a lot of work and a lot of safety.

It might take you a while.  It might take your kid a while.

Like- a really really really long while.  

Be gentle with yourself.  Practice.  Take a break. Try again. When and if you can.

Robyn

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Help for Sensory and Emotional Challenges with Jessica Sinarski {EP 93}


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This week’s podcast guest is Jessica Sinarski- a highly sought-after therapist, speaker, and change-maker. Extensive post-graduate training and 15+ years as a clinician and educator led her to create the resource and training platform–BraveBrains. She makes brain science practical, helping parents and professionals become healers for hurting children. She is the author of the award-winning Riley the Brave series, Hello, Anger, and more.  

Keep Reading or Listen on the Podcast

Empowering with Brain Science

Jessica is a fierce advocate for both children and the grownups who are striving to support them. She believes that the more we know about our bodies and brains, the better we can navigate relationships, mental health, communication, work, life, and more. 

In her work, Jessica emphasizes supporting and equipping adults who are parenting, teaching or working with kids in the aftermath of trauma while creating resources that are not only kid-friendly but allow children to feel seen. 

Riley the Brave’s Sensational Sensations

In her Riley the Brave series, Jessica honors the brave survival parts of children while also honoring the tremendous courage that it takes for kids to find new ways to be brave and new ways to relate. 

In the newest book in the series, Riley’s next adventure is all about his Sensational Senses. In this book, Jessica helps children and caregivers understand sensory processing. Through Riley’s experiences, Jessica expertly demonstrates in kid-friendly language what our senses are, what it feels like when we have sensory challenges, and shows readers with sensory processing differences that they aren’t alone. 

Being curious together with your child about their sensory experience, allows kids to take some ownership and gain some of that self reflective ability that we so desperately want, especially for brains that have been impacted by trauma. 

Riley’s story teaches parents and kids to be curious about their sensory experiences, rather than blaming, shaming, or pathologizing the behaviors that often arise from sensory overwhelm, and of course, teaches some strategies for emotion regulation. 

Some of the tips she shared in this interview include: 

  • Learn about the senses with your child and give language to their sensory experience
  • Accept and normalize your child’s unique experience of the sensory world
  • Be curious together with your child to gain insight about their specific sensory needs
  • Help your child explore what their body needs to feel ok

Get More of Jessica

Riley the Brave’s Sensational Senses will be released on (update) October 6th, 2022. You can preorder the book now through October 5th and receive special bonuses at www.rileythebrave.org/senses. You can learn more about Jessica’s work at www.bravebrains.com

Jessica’s training for professionals: https://bravebrains.com/moving-beyond-trauma-informed/

To hear some of the ways her new book empowers children and caregivers, listen to the episode or read the transcript.

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on the Parenting after Trauma podcast.

Find the Parenting after Trauma podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Would you like to explore a complete paradigm-shift on how we see behavior? You can watch my F R E E 45(ish) minute-long masterclass on What Behavior Really Is and How to Change It.

Just let me know where to send the links!

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But- have you grieved? {BONUS}


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***this post originally went out as an email to everyone on my email list on 09/08/2022. I had such an overwhelming response (and I’m sorry if you sent me an email and I haven’t replied yet!) that I wanted it to reach as many people as possible.  So I’m posting it here and on my podcast, as well***

Keep reading or listen on the podcast

The other day I was connecting with a dear, trusted confidante about some hard things that are happening in my life.

She asked if I was being compassionate or critical toward myself.

It was easy to answer.  I’ve got a pretty strong self-compassion muscle (but I promise you I haven’t always!  I’ve really worked it hard over the past many years).

So- mostly I’m being pretty compassionate toward myself.

Then she asked “but have you grieved.”

Oof.

OOF.

Darn.  Even though we long for it, sometimes it’s so hard to be so seen.  To have someone so quickly get right to the heart of it.

No. No I have not, thank you very much.  

This morning as I was putzing around the dark kitchen waiting for my first cup of coffee I thought to myself “Why not? What’s the risk in grieving this hard thing?”

Which- mind you- I’ve asked myself approximately 6839 times before.

But I actually heard an answer this time.

If I grieve, I’m acknowledging this thing I’m grieving is actually real and it’s probably not going to change.

To grieve means I have to be honest about what’s happening.

That feels very ‘endgame’ to me.  And to be honest, I’m not that impressed with this particular storyline.

So I continue to rage against it.  I continue to hope that was is true isn’t true.  

And I’m constantly setting myself up for disappointment (this always happens when I hope reality isn’t real).

And then I rage against reality not being what I want it to be.

But, have you grieved?

Sometimes I want to shout “TELL ME HOW!!!!  IF YOU SHOW MY HOW I WILL DO IT AND I WILL GET AN A+ AT IT!!!!”

OK let’s be honest.  I actually have shouted that.  As if it’s a well-kept secret that no one is willing to share with me for the explicit purpose of taunting me and preventing me for getting that A+.

Here’s the thing.

I know how to grieve.  And I have to trust that my inner world is touching into the grief in exactly the pace that is right.

I’m titrating the grief.  

Slowly.  Like…very slowly.

When my system believes I can I acknowledge reality and grieve it, I will.

When I can feel safe inside the loss of control, I’ll grieve.  The not-ever-real-anyway control that somehow I have the power to make life go exactly the way I want it to.  

Yesterday I was chatting with the person who is writing the forward for my book (I’ll tell you as soon as I can who that person is!!!) and this person said they were so grateful to read all the times I return to grief.  I remind the reader that grief makes sense. That some of the things they encounter with their kids is just really crummy and sad and overwhelming and not fixable.  And worthy of grief.

When you love someone who struggles, there is grief.  A lot of it.  

I think I need to re-read my own book.

There is so much grief in loving someone who struggles.  Someone who has a vulnerable nervous system.  Someone who has baffling behaviors.  

Grief for them and grief for ourselves.

So, dear reader– have you grieved?

I’m going to spend the next week being curious about my body’s belief that I can’t handle the grief.

Because I think the truth is that I can handle the grief.  I think the story that I can’t handle the grief is a trickster story.  It’s trying soooo hard to keep me safe, but with my owl brain I can see that I can handle the grief.  

I can release my strong-hold on the reality I’m hoping for and instead be brave enough to embrace that reality that I have.  

I wonder how much beauty and gorgeousness I’m missing by insisting that THIS reality isn’t the one I want?

This was a long email.  That’s for witnessing my rambling thoughts.  I didn’t know exactly what I was gonna write after the subject line.

Thank you for seeing me.  I hope you also feel seen by me.

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Child Can’t Handle No {EP 92}


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When your child can’t handle hearing ‘NO’ or gets really dysregulated when a boundary is set, it can be really hard on the whole family. Understanding the role of Frustration Tolerance in your child’s reaction to hearing ‘NO’ can help you set them up for growing this developmental skill.

Keep reading or listen on the podcast

Frustration Tolerance

All humans have hopes, desires, and wants. That’s true for you. True for me. And true for your child. It doesn’t mean they are spoiled – it just means they are human. Being able to tolerate the frustration of not getting what we want is a pretty complex developmental skill – an Owl Brain skill. It develops over time and improves as we get older. Even my own adult brain’s capacity to tolerate frustration can vary based on how wide my window of tolerance to stress is on a given day.

Our kids with more vulnerable nervous systems have not developed the regulatory capacity to tolerate frustration. This is a developmental skill that requires regulation, felt-safety and connection.  

The Impact of Trauma on Frustration Tolerance

As caregivers, we know that there are lots of reasons (often good and benevolent reasons) our kids can’t always get what they want. 

Mental Models: Kids with complex trauma and histories wherein relationship hasn’t been safe, have a hard time embodying that a ‘No’ or a boundary is not personal. Their Mental Models may only allow them to interpret the boundary as confirmation that you are mean or that you don’t like them. 

Memory Processing: Another thing that can impact the experience of frustration tolerance is that for kids with complex trauma and vulnerable nervous systems, the yucky feelings of frustration and disappointment can feel like they will last forever. When feelings of frustration and disappointment come up, it may activate implicit memories of a time in the past when experiences of frustration and disappointment did not receive co-regulation–a time when they felt bad for a very long period. This can bring up a sense that they will always feel bad and never feel good again which can catapult them into pretty intense dysregulation. 

(You may want to see my previous podcasts about Trauma, Memory and Behavior to better understand Mental Models and Memory Processing.) 

Part of developing frustration tolerance is learning and trusting that “I can feel bad. I can experience frustration and disappointment, and I can still be okay. I can tolerate having a yucky feeling without freaking out, because I know I can make it through this yucky feeling and be okay. And the yucky feeling will end. ” 

Now, this does not mean that the child will experience frustration joyfully or happily. Frustration and disappointment are both valid negative emotions, and they’re going to be expressed that way. Part of our work, as their grown ups, is to develop our capacity to tolerate their experiences of and expressions of frustration and disappointment.

How to Increase Frustration Tolerance

  • Coregulation
  • Lowering the bar (this is different than ‘giving in’)
  • Supporting their Window of Tolerance before communicating the boundary
  • Caregiver self-compassion and regulation
  • Reframing child’s response to ‘No’ as lack of frustration tolerance

It is possible that if none of the above resonates for you, your child with complex trauma may have an extreme response to frustration tolerance due to a lack of sense of self. These kids feel best when they are enmeshed with their caregiver and become intensely dysregulated when a boundary creates a feeling of separation from the person they are relying on for their sense of self. You can learn more about this in my attachment series HERE or by downloading the free ebook on Attachment HERE.

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on the Parenting after Trauma podcast.

Find the Parenting after Trauma podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Would you like to explore a complete paradigm-shift on how we see behavior? You can watch my F R E E 45(ish) minute-long masterclass on What Behavior Really Is and How to Change It.

Just let me know where to send the links!

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