Parenting kids with vulnerable nervous systems often means that parents and caregivers are living in a state of chronic chaos and danger. Even if the behaviors aren’t ‘that bad,’ it’s dysregulating to live with someone in chronic protection mode. 

In this episode, I take a closer look at how polyvagal theory helps us understand the nervous system’s longing for safety—even when life feels overwhelming—and how parents can increase cues of safety even in the midst of ongoing stress.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • Why neuroception continuously scans for cues of safety and danger, and how that shapes whether we live in connection or protection mode.
  • How to use the “inside, outside, between” framework to notice and intentionally increase cues of safety in daily life.
  • The hopeful truth that cues of safety from relationships, pets, and nature can eventually be internalized—giving us safety that lives within us, always.

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

 


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What if dysregulation isn’t the problem? 

I know I know- that’s really hard to wrap our brain around! At least, it was for me. 

In this episode, I continue the conversation from last week’s interview with Deb Dana and take a deeper dive into one of her most powerful insights: that dysregulation is simply part of being human—and it’s the absence of repair that becomes the real challenge.

But I think for parents of kids with big, baffling behaviors, we need to pause and explore that a little more. Because- in your home- dysregulation is a real problem!!!

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why dysregulation is a natural part of being human, and how polyvagal theory reframes it with compassion and hope
  • The difference between dysregulation itself and the behaviors that can emerge from it
  • How offering repair—even when it isn’t received—can create powerful shifts in your child’s nervous system and in your own

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work


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Polyvagal theory isn’t just a theory- it’s a way of living that can transform how we show up for our kids, ourselves, and everyone around us. I’m SOOOO excited to introduce you to Deb Dana! Together, we explore how understanding our nervous systems brings hope, deepens connection, and makes repair possible even in the messiest moments.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • Why polyvagal theory is truly a theory of hope and how it can reframe your parenting challenges.
  • How to increase cues of safety and decrease cues of danger—for you and your child.
  • The essential role of repair in building connection, even when your child can’t (or won’t) receive it right away.

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work


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When kids swear, it often feels jarring, disrespectful, or even threatening. But swearing isn’t about defiance or being a bad kid- it’s a clue about the state of your child’s nervous system. Swearing might mean your child is overwhelmed, dysregulated, or struggling to find their real voice. 

Of course, understanding the behavior isn’t excusing the behavior. BUT! When we understand where the behavior is coming from, we get much better and more effective ideas about how to address it.

In this episode, we explore what’s really going on beneath the swearing, why it might be possible to consider that swearing isn’t inherently bad, and how parents can respond in ways that build regulation, connection, and felt safety.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why your own reaction to swearing is the first thing to explore, and how to regulate through it
  • What swearing might really be communicating, including pain, overwhelm, or a need for control
  • How to scaffold emotional expression so your child learns to use their real voice instead of cussing

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work