It’s Me! Hi! My 2022 Reflections {EP 108}

And then over the holidays, for four weeks, kind of like mid December to mid January. My schedule like this past year in the year before has been to do four weeks of replays. I kind of searched through my podcast archives and think, like what are the topics that parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems, big baffling behaviors and histories just so often, although not always, of attachment trauma. What are the topics that these families need to get through what can often be a pretty disregulating time of the year, right? Like regardless of what holidays you do, or don't celebrate, this November, December, moving into January time period is often one of unpredictability, and all sorts of unique things happening and sounds, and smells, and sights are different. And schools out, and all these things which contribute to, oftentimes, an increase in dysregulation. So you got four weeks of replays. And I hope that those helped you get through that tough time in your family. And now as we are beginning to turn our sights to 2023, and really ease into this new year, I am just so excited to kind of be back in this chair that I sit in for recording. And I'm back behind the microphone and- and even just doing the steps involved in planning for a podcast felt soothing. They felt familiar. They felt like kind of coming back into what matters most to me and coming back into connection with all of you.

As I was getting ready for 2023 and planning out podcast episodes. And I really almost have all of 2023 planned out, believe it or not. But as I was sitting down and doing all these plans, it kept kind of coming back to me that I really wanted to record something that kind of felt like a year in review episode. And I kind of put it off and I was like, I don't know that that's what my listeners need to hear or want to hear. I really, really value your precious moments of time and know they're very few. And really think about you know, like if I'm going to ask you to hit play, am I giving you something that's going to make that investment of your time worth it? And I just kind of went round and round with myself on like, is doing a year and review episode kind of self serving? I mean, I really want to do it. I wanted to have the opportunity to sit down and reflect. And I'm an external processor. I have very few inside my head thoughts for better or for worse. One of the ways that I process and make sense of things is out of my head and often verbally. And I just kept feeling compelled to do an episode like this with still some hesitancy about is this the right episode for y'all? And I talked to a colleague and she really helped me come to a place of feeling as though this is helpful to y'all. And as these pieces where I- to maybe take a step away from kind of overt teaching or overt, you know, sharing knowledge or information with you. And instead stay just completely grounded in this relational space is, of course of great value to you. And it's of great value to our relationship, this relationship that we build week after week with this podcast. And then, of course, helps the very practical, tangible tools and things that I offer you. It helps those be even more dynamic, even more relevant, even more useful to you because they are embedded inside this relational experience that you and I have. 

So that's what I'm going to do today, I'm going to just take an episode to really reflect on and enjoy all of the goodness, all of the intensity of 2022. Because y'all, I've never had a year like 2022 in my life. Just recently, I said to someone like, I mean, I knew 2022 was intense. I knew I was doing a lot of projects. And it's only in reflection that I realized what exactly I undertook in 2022, which was without question, extremely intense. And I'm hoping isn't an intensity that I repeat in at least the near future, like in the next couple- couple of years. That- that's what I'm hoping for, but who knows what will actually unfold. 

So there was so much that happened in 2022, including that it was at the inaugural year of Being With. This year long immersion program that I have for professionals, specifically, parenting professionals, professionals who work with kids and families in a wide variety of settings. And who were especially interested in growing their skills and their capacity to work with y'all. To work with the families of the kids with the biggest, most intense, most baffling behaviors. So 42 people, 42 People trusted me! And took this enormous leap with me. And I was offering a brand new program, right? Like not a program that was tried and true and had tons of recommendations and lots of really obvious positive outcomes, but a brand new program. And y'all not just a brand new program, but a brand new year long program that met weekly. So this very intense program 42 people decided they wanted to be a part of the very first year, wanted to be a part of building something while it was unfolding. And while they were a part of it. 

So I started Being With with these two main goals, like I wanted to teach parent coaching strategies and skills, of course, right? And one way that my students did receive these parent coaching skills, and strategies, and tools, and techniques is that they were taught how to teach parents, the parent course that I have created and written and they have the licensing rights now to teach the parent course themselves in their own communities, or however they want to teach it. Now of course, not everybody who participated in Being With is interested in teaching a formal parent course are working in that capacity. And that's fantastic. The material that they received that is my parent course is all very much information material that can be implemented in a wide variety of settings, including especially like one-on-one while coaching parents. Whether that be parents of their therapy clients, parents that they're just working on and their own parent coaching practice, parents of the kids that they see for occupational therapy, parents of kids that they're working with in a more educational setting. So one of the cool things about Being With is that is a very multidisciplinary. It brings in professionals who work with kids and families in a wide variety of settings. Though last year, we did have predominantly therapists, that's not true about this year. But this last year, we did have predominantly psychotherapist and mental health practitioners who work with kids and families in that capacity. So they, over the course of the year, of course, got a toolbox full of tools for how to work with parents of kids who have these most vulnerable nervous systems and the biggest, most baffling behaviors. I really wanted to make an impact in the world and offering an opportunity for there to be more professionals who feel equipped to work with y’all, those of you who press play and listen to this podcast. So parent coaching strategies and parenting strategies was certainly a major goal of Being With. But really, the other goal is the one that was the more important goal to me. And the second goal of Being With, one that takes a lot of time. And one that ultimately, like I said, I think is is more important even then the tools and the strategies is I wanted to create a space through Being With that the students’ nervous system could have the opportunities to move toward increased integration themselves. That they get to have experiences that- that would widen their own window of tolerance. That they would have the experience that would increase their own capacity for working with families that are holding a lot of intensity. And that they would have experiences that would then decrease the amount that they get triggered by this intensity, because practitioners who are regularly triggered, regularly overwhelmed by the intensity of their clients are unfortunately practitioners who are going to burn out really quickly. And the families that I work with, y’all that are listening, need practitioners who can hang in there for the long haul. And I, because of my own experiences, knew that we needed to do two really important things. One, I needed to equip these practitioners with more tools so that they could feel more confident that they can be helpful. But I also needed to give them an experience where they could be seen, and held, and known, and experience the presence, and the co-regulation, and the Being With that they ultimately want to offer to the families that they work with. Because that is the primary way the nervous system changes. That is what families need more than anything. 

So my program Being With has, of course, very similar goals, as the programs that I have that are directly working with parents right to increase our own window of tolerance, to increase our capacity, to increase integration, to decrease how much we're being triggered, to increase the amount of which we feel really seen and known. That is the heart of Being With and a year ago, well a year and a couple of months ago, that was just an idea. And now that idea is alive in the world. It's alive in the world! And we met for 12 months, minus 10 weeks where we went on summer break. But we met every week for 12 months for two hours each time and we did this all live on Zoom. And students also had a significant amount of like didactic learning that they were responsible for participating in as well. But I didn't actually teach in the times what we got together live. I wrote curriculum and recorded a curriculum and uploaded it into an on demand learning platform. And so all the students did all of their just didactic learning on their own time. Which means that when we got together, I didn't teach live. We got to be together in relationship. We got to focus on integrating the concepts, to explore what different things were coming up for us as we were learning the material and applying it to the families that we were working with. And we got to process the application of the material. We got to ask questions about what was tricky with the families that we work with, or, you know, take the theory and make it truly alive and applicable. But ultimately, what that means is, we got to be highly relational. So even though this program always met on Zoom, we never had a live in person component, which is pretty cool, because that meant we had people from all over the world. But even though we always met on Zoom, we had a highly relational experience. The brain changes in relationship and this is true, even over zoom.

So from a super duper practical perspective, what all this means is that I created 12 months worth of curriculum. And I had to create it, and I had to record myself teaching it, and then I had to post it in our on demand learning library. And I also rewrote my entire 12 module parent course. I did all the slides, I rewrote the accompanying workbook for parents, I wrote extensive prompts in all the notes sections of the slideshows, so that, you know, my students, when they're out teaching the course they could feel really, really supported, and- and co-regulated by me as they are out teaching. 

So the curriculum for Being With and then the parent course, all of that was, of course, just a lot of time in creation mode, which I love. I love, love, love being in creation mode. And then another really cool thing about Being With in the year is that I got to practice and start to learn about how to be a boss. Which is not a role I've ever wanted, because it's not a role I thought I could ever figure out how to be good at. And I knew when I created Being With that, if I was going to create it in the relational way that I wanted, that I was going to need a team of people helping me implement it. And so that meant I had to have coaches, and a team. And yep, indeed, I had to figure out how to be a boss. So Being With is offered in different formats. And we have our full group that meets together, but then we also are all divided into smaller groups. And the smaller groups are intended to be really everybody's anchor into their program. The small groups really, really got to know each other, that was where the relational piece really, really came alive. So I needed a coach for every small group. 

And one very unexpected joy and delight of 2022 is that I got to watch my team of small coaches, who are just phenomenal human beings and phenomenal human beings I've known for a long time. I got to watch them have the kinds of experiences teaching and- and holding these kinds of transformational space for others. I got to watch them have the experience that I have, and love and adore and like, what keeps me going every day is- is- is how I can create and- and hold these experiences. And I got to create an experience where other coaches got to create and hold that experience for their students. And that was cool in a way I hadn't expected. I got to watch this team of coaches just grow in their confidence. I've known these folks for a long time and I've been able to watch their shift and change and- and how they've- how they've grown. And I got to be deliberate about taking in the way that they support and are connected to me. 

So I got to feel what I had hoped for, which is that Being With wasn't something I created. Being With was an idea that I had and then we all contributed to this kind of co-creation. and collaboration. and execution. And it doesn't belong to me it belongs to all of us, my coaches and, and my students. And yeah, I mean, it was awesome and hard, right? So, all year long I created content, I made slideshows, I searched for images, I hunted down original and accurate citations. And then- and then I recorded the content and the lessons that I had created, and then I messed them up royally and had to ditch them and rerecord them. And I did this over, and over, and over again. And for the most part, what I just described to you is actually my dream life. Like I would look around and be like, it was surrounded by books and they're open and and I can't remember where this one citation from and this original source, and did I get it and- and am I integrating this material in a way that was going to make sense to the learner? And I'm like looking around, it was like this is actually my dream life. 

So what was the end result? The end result of- of the 2022 cohort of Being With is that 42 folks went through the program, and 39 folks completed all of the requirements and earned the licensing rights to teach my parent course, and to be listed in the Being With directory. And the other three folks have been given lots of guidance and opportunity to be able to still do exactly that. To still complete the requirements and earn the licensing rights. And I have no doubt that each of them will- will do that. 

That's amazing, y'all just amazing. Three of the students who went through Being With last year have moved on to become coaches in the program this year. And so now- I now have six coaches in the program. And then an additional six of last year's students have gone on to become what we're calling student coaches. So we've developed a student coaching program, because I want to make sure that the program always has what it needs to grow in the way that feels good. I want to be able to serve the number of students who want to participate in a way that feels, you know, not exceeding my own capacity, and the capacity of the program. And I want to make sure we are never limited based on how many folks I have available to take on the role of small group coach. So we've created a program for how to create and nurture student coaches so that, should they want to in the future, they can step into the role of being a small group coach. Now, I'm not exactly sure how many of my 2022 students have gone on to formally teach the program. We haven't developed a good way to track this quite yet. But off the top of my head, I guess at least 10 of them have taught it. Some very formally, meaning they, you know, identified the weeks they were going to teach the course and they marketed it. And I watched them in many ways like kind of flex new business muscles. I- certainly many of the students in Being With also taught the course in less formal ways, or maybe marketed it just to a much smaller group of people. So I didn't always see all of that happening. But to hear about my students, because they were all encouraged to start teaching as early as September, if they wanted. They could take the curriculum and start teaching in the community, because I really wanted them to have the teaching experience while we were all still together. Again, if they wanted. So there was no pressure to do that. Everybody very much was encouraged to connect with the material in a way that- that really worked for them. But- But that meant many, many students were starting to teach in September, and that meant as early as September, more families than just the ones that I touch with my podcast, or my teaching, or all the various things that I do, more families were getting exposed to this material. And that was mind blowing. Like I don't think I have still really kind of taken in what that experience is and what that means for the future. And I also, you know, week after week got to hear my students talk about the pediatricians that they were connecting with, you know, over their mutual clients. Or the occupational therapists, or the educators, or the daycare workers, or, you know, all the other people that we as therapists come into contact with when we're really working with and supporting a client and their family. You know, all those folks were getting exposed to this like nervous system approach to seeing kids for who they really are, and then to help support their nervous system and ultimately, their behaviors. 

So that was wild in a way that I also kind of really wasn't expecting. I watched my students grow in their compassion for their own watchdog and possum brain. And y'all, when it comes right down to it, that's probably the most important and most powerful part of the whole year. You know, to develop the level of intimate connections I developed with each of these humans and to watch them develop more compassion for the parts of themselves that they maybe couldn't even imagined developing compassion for. And to know that that impact was happening when what we came together for was to learn how to be better parent coaches, I mean, it was just, like I said, is wild. I watched a student get married at the end of the year, and one of her pod members made the trip to her wedding where they got to meet for the first time. I mean, just wild, wild, wild things happen. I watched a local friend and colleague teach my course here in my own community! And, of course, this therapist has already helped so many families in our community. So many. She has been in practice for 20 years. So she's helped hundreds and hundreds of families long before her and I ever- ever interacted. But to watch like this mutual folks in our own mutual, shared community get exposed to these concepts through her. That was- that was pretty cool, too. That was really, that was really something else. 

And then in October, was already 24, I think, people registered for the 2023 cohort. I started the official registration process for the 2023 cohort, which included a five day private podcast series so that interested folks could really get a good feel for what they would experience inside Being With and it was all free. And I crafted it in a way that even folks who weren't interested in- in the Being With program would get something out of that week of training that was delivered through a private podcast. And y'all over a thousand people participated in that week. A thousand helpers, and healers, and educators, and coaches from around the world. Y’all, just take a second to just think about what that means. That this is spreading, that people want to work this way. People want to see kids behaviors this way, people want to show up and support your families and support you in a way that you really need. That gives me so much hope. 

So we just started the 2023 cohort of Being With with 54 students. That was my max, that was as many as I could take. Because I have six coaches. And each small group has nine students. Which after last year, we discovered was a really good, sweet spot. I did not want to have small groups add more than nine in them. So I had space for 54. And we have 54 students. Right? So by the end of this year, the directory that I currently have, which by the way, I don't think I said this before, it's at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWithDirectory and I'll make sure I'll put that in the show notes. But that directory is gonna more than double. Ah! I just can't! Y’all, I don't- I sometimes- I just- I don't even know what to think or say or do. I've already made major updates to the parent course. So over the holidays, my assistant did a ton of parent course update- parent course updates. So the parent course at all of last year students got. It's already been updated, and I expect it's going to continue to be updated. There's such an element of it that is, you know, based on neuroscience, and that's of course, continuing to- to change, and we learn new things, and we have- we've got to update it. But I'm also learning new and better ways to actually teach the material. So as those things kind of shift and change, we update the course. 

What all this means is that slowly, surely, we are making this way of supporting kids and families more accessible. We're helping clinicians feel confident that they know how to help these most vulnerable families. That means they're gonna burn out less. Which that's a gift to you, the families they serve, but it's a gift to them. It's a gift to their humanity. That we're seeing and recognizing them as- as worthy of having regulation, and peace, and integration in their nervous system. And that they can have that, even while supporting families with the most needs. Or creating a community where these folks, these professionals, these practitioners can feel really seen, and anchored, and not judged, and not alone. At these clinicians who choose to walk alongside you- you those struggling families. They need just as much as y'all do. And as I imagine how Being With will unfold and grow into the future, that's what I see. Like the growth of a community that supports these practitioners in a way that then allows them to support you. 

Being With has exceeded my wildest dreams and expectations. I mean, I- I sometimes- without questions, sometimes I have really long, hard days. I work hard. And for the most part, I step back and I go. I cannot believe that this, that this is what I do for a living. What? Like how is this possible? This is what I get to do. Right?  Now, I have a year of on demand content for Being With for all of the didactic learning that they're getting. That I'll absolutely be regularly updating as needed, but it's there. I don't have to spend the year creating curriculum, recording curriculum, rerecording curriculum, right? I- that means I get to do other cool things. I'm gonna have time for other things, including my family. I have a son who's halfway through his junior year of high school. And, gosh, that part of me that wants to just stop time, y'all. And of course, I can't do that. So instead, I'm just trying to be as available to him as I can be, while continuing to maintain my commitments to you, and to the professionals who turn to me for support. 

Okay, so yeah, Being With is huge part of 2022. I didn't really expect to go on about Being With for half an hour. And it kind of looks like that's where I am with the timestamp, right about half an hour in. So let's move on. Let's move on and look at what other cool things happened in 2023. One day, I'll hit record on this episode. You know, maybe I'll be 85 years old, and I'll hit record on this episode. And just smile, just smile, as I remember this moment of sitting down and recording this for you and and for me. 

So of course, the second biggest thing in 2022 was my book. I started writing this book in 2021. I submitted my finished manuscript on June 30th, 2022. And after that, it's been mostly just a really long waiting game. Writing the book in and of itself was super hard, without question. It was an undertaking I'd never done before. I had no idea what I was doing. But I had a lot of help. And so that was cool. But publishing the book has been a totally different experience than writing it. And without question, a lesson in being at peace with things that are completely out of my control, including a lot of delays. So we are currently looking at a publication date of September 2023. We're hoping that sometime, hopefully in the next month or so I'll have a finalized cover. And then I can start sharing more and more of the details with you. The book offers the tools that I teach my students and Being With and I directly teach parents in The Club. It's all the parenting tools that I teach and it's based on, of course, my owl, watchdog, and possum model. But you know, when I sat down to write this book, I didn't want to just write another nonfiction parenting book that's full of tools that you'll read and start to implement and then probably forget most of them because that kind of how parenting books go. So I very intentionally weaved all the tools into a story. So in the book, you get to meet a parent who comes for parent coaching, 12 chapters and 12 sessions of coaching. And by the end of the book, it's my hope that what you'll have is compassion and love for this parent and their child, compassion and love for yourself, and compassion and love for your child. As well as a ton of new tools and techniques. Early readers of the book have said that reading the book is like connecting with me over a cup of their favorite warm beverage, which of course for me is coffee, but y’all have your own preferences. So that's kind of been a common theme in how the early, like my early readers are describing what their experience has been like reading that book. Which is exactly what I was going for, because that is actually how the brain changes. And if you're going to spend all this time reading a book, it might as well actually change your brain. And in coordination with both a book and recreating my parent course for the Being With students, I hired an illustrator who helps me with my owl, watchdog, and possum. And helped those ideas and those characters just really come to life. Without question, that was one of the most fun parts of the year. Watching these ideas that live in my head come to life out of my head and in this creative form. Especially y'all because I do not really think in pictures. So to see these ideas in my head become pictures was so cool and so much fun. Like fun in a way I didn't really anticipate. 

If you're in The Club you've already been introduced to the new owl, watchdog, and possum. And you know, we've gotten to know the owl, watchdog, and poss- possum brain. And we've learned ways to calm and connect with the owl and possum brain. And we've learned ways to grow the owl brain. If- if you follow me on social media, you've seen a few appearances of the owl, watchdog, and possum on social media. And you can definitely plan on them making an even bigger role in the way that I support you and your family. If you've never heard me talk about owls, watchdogs, and possums. You're gonna want to go back a little bit in the podcast to the episode that's called something like Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behaviors. On my website, if you go to RobynGobbel.com/ChangeBehaviors, you'll find a link to that episode. And I've also included that episode in my ten episode private podcast that's called Start Here. I've curated like my top 10 episodes that help give you a foundation of where to start when you're diving into everything that I have to offer you. That's at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere. I'll make sure all these links get down in the show notes. 

Y'all keep asking when you'll be able to buy owl, watchdog, and possum merchandise. Things like stuffed animals and, children's books and, sand tray figures for the therapy office, and t-shirts. And it is going to be really fun to see these kinds of things kind of come to fruition. But I'm also super committed to growing my business at a sustainable pace that keeps the relational aspect like really at its core. So we will almost certainly be thinking about those kinds of products that will support you and coming into contact with your owl, watchdog, and possum brain and help you help kids learn more about their owl, watchdog, and possum brain. But aside from coloring pages which are in the works, I'm not sure then give you a timeline for when other kinds of products will be available. But just know it is something we're thinking about, and working on, and we are balancing that with making sure that we grow our business at a pace that we can keep up with. Because it my business doesn't do you any good if it becomes something that I can't manage. Although I will say my friend, Marti Smith, ordered and gifted me custom cookie cutters based out of the owl, watchdog, and possum. And with the holidays and with everything that's going on, I haven't had the opportunity to use them. But I just said to my husband, oh my gosh we have to- like just last night I said, we have to make cookies! We have to make owl, watchdog, and possum cookies! And so when I make them, I will absolutely be sharing those pictures with you over on social. So if you don't follow me on Facebook or Instagram, head over to either of those places, wherever you spend more time. And find me on Facebook and Instagram, and I'll share those pictures of those cookies when we finally do make them. 

Okay, so what else obviously, of course, The Club is a huge part of my daily life, and therefore a huge part of 2022. And The Club is really where my heart is, The Club is my- I'm head over heels in love with The Club and the parents in The Club. And all of these pieces to my business, in some ways, kind of come back to the parents in The Club so that I can continue to find ways to support those of you in the trenches, who need the kind of support that The Club offers. This seems like a trillion years ago, but actually, it was in 2022 that we moved The Club into what we called our new Clubhouse. So previously, The Club existed as a private Facebook forum, as well as then all the educational content was on a platform called the Thinkific. Which meant there was two different places to go, two different logins. And we had to spend more time on Facebook than a lot of us wanted to be on Facebook. So we spent several months preparing for what we call the move to our new Clubhouse. And we moved The Club off of Facebook, and on to a online platform that integrates both like course and educational material, with forums and groups and that community experience. So we made that move, gosh, almost a year ago, now we made the move in February of 2022. And while, of course, just like moving to any new house, it's not perfect. But it is so much better than what we had before. And we're just constantly looking for ways to make updates, and make the experience easier- easier, and more streamlined, and offering more value and more benefit to our Club members. I have a little team in The Club. I have some coaches who also helped me out with posting in The Club forum, sometimes we bring in guests. And we are in the middle of, kind of, launching and announcing some new Club features and events. Because again, we're just always thinking like, what can we do to make this a better experience? What can we do to help kids and families even better? So we have some ideas and we are in the process of starting to roll them out. If you are in The Club, by the time this episode airs, this information about what's new and rolling out in The Club should already be published in The Club. So if you're listening to this, and you're in The Club, and you don't know what I'm talking about, head over to The Club, and you'll be able to find it as we're starting to think about what's going to happen in February 2023. 

Let's see what else happened in 2022. I traveled again. I hadn't traveled really since the pandemic started in March of 2020. And when the pandemic started, I canceled eighteen trips. So I was traveling a lot. That was a huge, huge, huge shift for me. I have decided I can never, or at least not for many years, have a travel schedule that resembles that in any way, shape or form. So I accept much fewer speaking engagements. In 2022, I was at a play therapy conference last winter or spring. And at several different child welfare conferences. I taught a workshop at the Attach Conference in Anaheim, California. And that was really cool because I got to meet in-person so many folks that I've only ever known online. So people that I feel like I know well, like I'd consider friends and colleagues, we've never met in person. So that was really awesome. Although I was also really far away and, gosh y'all, I am kind of fragile when it comes to changing time zones. It is so hard for me to change how many time zones and come home and just a couple days. But anyway, it was worth it. I got to meet some really awesome people and there's something really unique and special about being with hundreds of other folks who are committed to the families of kids with histories of attachment, trauma. I mean you can just imagine that is a pretty cool, pretty unique crowd. So to spend days with those people was pretty awesome. 

Okay, let's see, I'm looking at a 45 minute mark, I hope that that's accurate in it, that's a little long. So I'm going to start thinking about how to wrap this up. I think the last thing I want to mention in this review is that you may have caught my husband as a guest on the podcast in October. And that was definitely the most vulnerable thing that I've done in business, that me and him have done with business. He does work in my business and has, since I transitioned away from being like an in-person therapist to working the way that I do now, mostly online. My husband works in my business, and I have such a core value of being with you in a very present and authentic way. And even still, like bringing my husband onto the podcast to talk about what I, you know, wanted him to talk about was, by far the most vulnerable thing that we have done. I mean, authenticity doesn't necessarily trade- translate to me offering up a lot of information about my family and my personal life. I mean, members of The Club know Ed, and students and Being With know Ed. Because, like I said, he works in my business, and he gets to know these folks. But it was still just a huge leap to share such intimate details about someone that I love, and our family’s pretty intense personal struggle. So you can head back to October and find that episode where I interviewed Ed. And the episode was all about his experience with ultimately a diagnosis of Lyme disease and a neuroimmune disorder. We assume he's been dealing with the symptoms of chronic Lyme disease, probably for his entire adult life, like maybe upwards of 30 years. But the diagnosis didn't come until 2020. And the didn't know- that diagnosis came with an increase in symptoms. I mean, that's why we were trying to figure out like, what is this what's going on here. And it has absolutely just rocked our world. It has turned our world absolutely upside down. There's been times in the last couple years where I have felt pretty darn confident that my entire career of, you know, researching, and learning about, and understanding, and having compassion for big, baffling behaviors, you know, has all been in preparation for what started to transpire in my family. 

Now, obviously, I have other personal connections to vulnerable nervous systems and big, baffling behaviors. But this neuroimmune crisis, brought it all to a entirely new level. To the point where I don't think that our marriage would have even survived if it wasn't for what I know and understand about what behavior really is. And that behavior is simply an expression of what's happening on the inside. And a chronic neuroimmune disorder leaves the insides in a whole lot of turmoil and confusion. Sharing some of those parts of our journey with y’all continues to still be so powerful. I mean, we're still getting feedback about that episode. Somebody talked to me about the episode just last week, somebody talked to Ed about the episode last week as well. When I get epis- feedback, I forwarded all on to Ed. A couple of you who are in The Club have reached out to him directly. And that piece right there has made it all worth it. Right? Just to use the experience, which has been, at times, traumatic, right? And just impossibly hard. Right? But to use that experience, to connect with you, and to offer you some hope or even just a moment of being seen, and not alone. If nothing else in- the- what feels like unbearable aloneness in facing symptoms and a medical condition that nobody seems to know what it is, or how to diagnose, or certainly how to treat. And I imagine that the vast majority of you listening to this podcast have experienced that way more than you should have. And we've heard from a lot of folks that felt really seen and that is the antidote to trauma and shame. That you felt really seen in that episode. So that was extremely rewarding. 

Oh, okay, wait, wait. And speaking of the podcast, so y'all, this will actually be the last thing I reflect on. But speaking of the podcast, we actually hit several milestones on the podcast and 2020, [laughter] 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 2022. Including passing 200,000, then 300,000, and then 400,000 downloads, and we had our 100th episode. I actually expect that we will pass half a million downloads soon. Probably within a month, maybe six weeks of this episode airing. And that is bananas! Y'all like I started this podcast on a whim, I took some Facebook Lives, put them into a podcast, and decided I liked podcasting way better than getting on video for Facebook Lives. And now, it's been listened to by almost half a million times. That is just bananas! I really, seriously have no idea what to make of that. And I have some super fun ideas about what's going to happen on the podcast in the future, that I'm not quite ready to share. But just keep listening, because I'll be sharing soon. 

All right, so what's ahead then? Like, what can we look forward to here in 2023? Well, it certainly feels like getting this book published will be a highlight of 2023. But since that's still, unfortunately, many months away, my focus in the short term is going to be on creating community in my newest cohort of Being With. These students have made a tremendous investment in time, and energy, and money. And my commitment to them is that they are at the front of my mind, basically, every day. I also have plans that are going to supercharge The Club, I mentioned briefly just a few moments ago. There's a new feature I'm going to be launching soon, probably even before this episode airs. And I have plans for a couple of different kinds of new live events that are going to happen in The Club. I also have plans for, I think what we might call things like pop up surprise, live events. So not an event that is going to happen with regularity. Like right now we have a master class that happens with regularity. So I have some ideas for kind of like pop up ideas, pop up workshops, things that will be like one time events, not necessarily become regular occurrences. And we haven't done a whole lot of that in The Club. So I'm really excited about that. But more than anything, what I want The Club members to know, and to feel is how important they are to me and my team. I want them to feel loved, and supported, and seen, and valued. And that's probably you know, just right up there with my goal for creating community inside Being With, and for, you know, being with them in a way that helps them feel really seen every day. That's what I want for my Club members as well. 

I have a pretty full speaking calendar already, full for me like what is full now not what full used to be a couple years ago. So I have a couple of play therapy events coming up. I have a two day experiential workshop for all kinds of helpers and healers. That's going to be in June, in Bloomington, Indiana. And I have a couple events for parents scheduled as well. You can see my training and travel schedule over at RobynGobbel.com/trainings. I am going to travel a bit, not a ton just a little bit, including I get to go back to Austin in May, which I'm so excited about. And I'm also going to be doing a lot of little events online. I anticipate that in the fall, I'll be doing a lot of things related to the book as it gets published. So I'm trying to keep my fall calendar open for now. So we'll see how that kind of unfolds and what that schedule ends up looking like. 

Again RobynGobbel.com/trainings if you are interested in that.

[exhales] Oh my gosh, okay. [exhales] I really want to just end this with gratitude. With with a thank you. You know, whether you're Being With student, or a member of The Club or someone I've met in a training, or in a conference, or maybe you're a regular podcast listener, or maybe this is your first time tuning into the podcast. Just a big thank you. You know, these ideas that connect us. The ideas that bring you here, the ideas about behavior, the ideas about compassion, the ideas about relationship. And then we take those ideas, and we look at them primarily through the lens of parenting, but these are ideas that- that we can apply to all aspects of our life. You know, these ideas can change the world. And even if they don't, like, at the very least, they're changing me. And I assume that that means that they're changing things for you and for your kids, and that they're changing things for good. And that that matters. It matters a lot. So thank you, thank you for just continuing to show up, for continuing to press play, to being curious about this way of being with ourselves, being with others, being especially with our kids. 

So next week, you're gonna get an episode from me that talks about the difference between blaming, and excusing, and understanding behaviors. Big differences. And so often, I hear folks push back on some of these ideas that help us understand behavior. Because they th- they seem to hold this truth in their own bodies and their own nervous systems, that understanding equals excusing. Understanding equals lack of accountability. And I always just find this so curious that because of how we've come to understand human behavior, we seem to think that we can't both understand what's driving behavior and have a very tight, clear boundary. And we absolutely can have both and- and need to have both. Like understanding behavior isn't excusing it. Understanding behavior keeps us out of judgment. And we'll talk about why that is so important next week. 

Understanding behavior allows compassion to emerge, which actually makes setting boundaries even easier. So this is going to be the perfect episode to set us up for what's going to be a month-long exploration of exactly that: boundaries. And we're going to talk about what boundaries really are like, what does that word actually even mean? How do we hold the boundaries, especially with people. We're ending the relationship for folks who don't comply with our boundaries isn't an option, like with our kids. And I have a super special guest lined up, cannot wait to introduce you to this person, who I think is on the absolute cutting edge of boundaries. What boundaries really are, how we set boundaries, and what is the work that we need to do internally to be able to set the boundaries that we want to set. So that month on the podcast is going to set the stage for this big deep dive, then into the practical application of boundaries work, including, and especially how to like strengthen our own psychological and energetic boundaries. We're going to do that in The Club in March. So we'll be welcoming new members into The Club just in time for that. So we'll be able to, together, explore this very important and again, often like super confusing topic. 

[exhales] Okay, I'm about to tip over the one hour mark, which, okay, that was a long, that was a long one. If this is your first time with me, y'all I talk a lot. I do really work on trying to be more succinct, and I still a lot of work to do. So if you've listened this long, I am just so grateful that me and you are here together. That we're developing this relationship. That we can do this in this way and that it matters that my relationship matters to you, and your relationship with me matters to me. So come back next week, we are going to start really laying the groundwork so we can deep dive into how do we set boundaries with kids with vulnerable nervous systems, and big, baffling behaviors I can't wait! I'll see you next week.