Sometimes the hardest part of parenting isn’t your child’s behavior, it’s the grief that rises up inside you. The grief of not getting what you needed. The grief of still healing while you’re trying to parent intentionally. In this episode, we talk about the quiet, complicated grief that can come with parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system when you have your own history of trauma.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The core griefs that often emerge when you’re parenting with your own trauma history
• Why noticing intergenerational patterns can stir shame
• How to be with your grief using self-compassion and a gentle “touch in, touch out” approach

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

• Podcast – Start Here!
• When Parenting Triggers Your Own Trauma: Part 1 of 6 {Ep 250}

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

Content note: This episode discusses trauma, nervous system activation, and protective responses such as shutdown, dissociation, anger, and urgency. There are no graphic details, but please take care while listening.

If you have a history of trauma, your watchdog and possum parts have likely been working hard for a long time. And when you’re parenting a child with big baffling behaviors, those protectors can get loud.

In this episode, we draw inspiration from Dan Siegel’s work to explore what it means to be with your watchdog and possum without becoming them. This isn’t about silencing your protectors. It’s about building a relationship with them.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How state integration allows you to notice your watchdog and possum parts without fusing with them
• Why curiosity and compassion widen your window of tolerance more effectively than control or self-criticism
• How caring for your protective parts begins with awareness, gratitude, and understanding what they need

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

• Free Resources Hub!
• Robyngobbel.com/webinar

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

Content note: This episode discusses trauma, parenting stress, and nervous system activation. There are no graphic details, but please take care while listening.

If you’ve spent years learning about the nervous system to better support your child, and now you’re ready to offer the same curiosity and compassion to yourself, then this episode is for you. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How core nervous system concepts like connection vs. protection, regulation, and felt safety apply to your trauma-shaped nervous system
• Why reactions rooted in watchdog and possum states make sense for you, too 
• How sensitized stress responses, state-dependent functioning, and a narrowed window of tolerance explain why insight alone isn’t enough 

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

• When Parenting Triggers Your Own Trauma Part 1 of 6 {EP 250}
• Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior {EP 84}
• Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior webinar & eBook

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

Content warning: This episode includes discussion of severe trauma, abuse (including sexual abuse), dissociation, and suicidal ideation. Please take care while listening and pause if needed.

In today’s episode, Robyn is joined by therapist, author, and adoptive parent Sally Maslansky to explore dissociative identity disorder through the lens of interpersonal neurobiology, attachment, and compassion. Together, they unpack how even the most confusing and baffling behaviors- ours and our children’s – can be understood as brilliant adaptations rooted in survival.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

• Why dissociative identity disorder can be understood as a brilliant adaptation to overwhelming early trauma
• How making sense of our own histories (especially implicit memory and attachment wounds) changes the way we parent and repair ruptures with our kids.
• What it looks like, in real life, to heal through connection, compassion, and feeling truly felt– and how these experiences invite our attachment systems to move toward security

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

• A Brilliant Adaptation by Sally Maslansky

• Virtual event with Sally Maslansky hosted by GAINS on January 21

• Sally Maslansky, LMFT with Daniel J. Siegel, MD- UCLA Friends of Semel Institute on March 11

• Psychotherapy Networker Symposium- Live in Washington D.C. & Online March 19-21

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

To celebrate our 5th birthday, I gathered 5 tips from our top 5 episodes.

I’m revisiting important take-aways from episodes about boundaries, oppositional behavior, and how parenting kids with a vulnerable nervous system is traumatic. 

Each of these episodes have a free downloadable infographic! You can find them all at RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub

In this episode, you’ll learn

• What ‘boundary’ really mean (hint: it’s not about controlling anyone else’s behavior)
• What kind of boundary you need if you have a child who struggles with verbal aggression (psychological boundary!)
• What’s driving oppositional behavior (and therefore, what do we need to focus on to change it)
• What types of experiences lead to parenting becoming traumatic

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Free Resource Hub RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work