Scaffolding Felt Safety {EP 205}


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How do we help kids feel safe when they are safe? How do we help them take in the safety that exists in their life when their life experiences seem to have convinced them that nothing is safe. 

Scaffolding. Yes, we can scaffold felt safety.

My recovery from a very serious back injury left me pondering the importance of felt safety in taking risks and the necessity of scaffolding felt safety. 

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • The importance of relationship in felt safety
  • How even felt safety must be scaffolded for folx who don’t have a lot of experience being safe in relationship
  • How amazing it is that our hurt kids risk relationship at all, and how it makes sense that sometimes they won’t

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

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The Way of Play with Dr. Tina Payne Bryson {EP 204}


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Play makes kids stronger. It’s necessary for their physical and emotional development, and even their academic development. Play helps kids work through and make sense of hard things. 

A few months ago I went searching for a resource that teaches parents some of skills I used as a play therapist because I am passionate about breaking down barriers and teaching these skills to as many adults as possible- not just therapists. 

Tina Payne Bryson’s newest book (co-authored with Georgie Wisen-Vincent), The Way of Play, is exactly this resource. 

It was a delight to connect with Dr. Payne Bryson and get a sneak peek into her new book, The Way of Play.

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • Why play is so important
  • The 7 strategies in PlayStrong Parenting
  • How to Bring Emotions to Life
  • How to Make Yourself a Mirror

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

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An Underwhelming Grand Reveal! {EP 203}


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To be 100% honest, we forgot to record a podcast for this week. Luckily, I have stepped in to fill the podcast void and to make my grand reveal!

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • What my voice sounds like!
  • Why we didn’t get a new episode out for y’all.

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

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Low-Demand Holidays {EP 202}


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We think a lot about how to lower demands for our kids, but in this episode we’re going to talk about how we can lower demands for ourselves, specifically during the holiday season.

Regardless of where you live in the world and what holidays you do or don’t celebrate, it’s hard to avoid the extra stress that comes in December.

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • How to look at traditions or expectations and consider which ones to prioritize
  • How to increase felt safety- for you and your kids- at holiday events, travel, or expectations
  • How to set boundaries 
  • How to offer yourself compassion if setting boundaries feels really hard

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

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Walking On Eggshells {EP 201}


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Living with someone with a vulnerable nervous system almost certainly leaves you feeling like you are walking on eggshells.

It’s that sense of not knowing what’s going to happen next, having to tread lightly, and being constantly at risk of making a misstep that will trigger the other person. 

In today’s episode, we are going to break down the neurobiology of walking on eggshells and talk about what you can do to shift out of this pattern- even if you can’t change the other person’s behavior.

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • The neurobiology of that ‘walking on eggshells’ feeling
  • How to consider the possibility of feeling safe when you are safe
  • The impossible set-up our brain puts us in that leaves us stuck feeling like we are walking on eggshells- and what to do about it

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

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Gratitude for Our Watchdog & Possum Parts {EP 200}


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In this special 200th episode, we’re exploring how to bring compassion, curiosity, and gratitude to our kids’ (and our own) “Watchdog” and “Possum” parts as overworked companions trying their best to help us survive. With acceptance and understanding, we can help these parts rest and integrate, creating space for true change.

We also look at the unique challenges parents face, especially when dealing with intense behaviors, and how building compassion for these protective parts—not the behaviors themselves—can help us navigate parenting with more calm, empathy, and hope. 

Believe it or not- over time, this practice of seeing our inner worlds differently can transform not only our lives but the lives of our children and our communities.

Main Takeaways:

  • Recognize Protective Parts with Compassion: Our “Watchdog” and “Possum” parts, which are defensive instincts, need compassion and gratitude, not elimination. Understanding these parts as overworked rather than problematic can lead to healthier integration and self-acceptance.
  • Parenting from Compassionate Curiosity: Challenging behaviors in children can often lead to frustration. By developing curiosity and compassion for our kids’ protective parts, parents can respond with empathy and help these parts feel safe, which reduces the intensity of the behaviors over time.
  • The Power of Community and Practice: Change takes time and commitment, and practicing compassion and gratitude—even in small amounts—can lead to significant transformations in ourselves, our relationships, and our communities. The journey is gradual, but even small shifts create powerful results.

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

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Scaffolding Relational Skills as Brain Skills with Eileen Devine {EP 199}


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The brain is the brain is the brain. All behaviors have their origin in the brain. But for some behaviors, it is easy to lose sight of this important truth.

Behaviors that would be easy to label as manipulative or controlling or selfish just feel so personal! But if we can remember that even relational skills are brain based skills, we can reclaim our empathy, set boundaries, and offer the scaffolding or accommodations necessary to help our child be successful.

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • How to break down relational skills as brain-based skills
  • How to scaffold or accommodate relational brain-based skills

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

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All Behavior Makes Sense {EP 198}


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All behavior makes sense and no behavior is maladaptive- in the moment that behavior emerges.

Of course, the IMPACT of the behavior might be maladaptive and absolutely many behaviors need to change.

But understanding that all behavior makes perfect sense at the moment it emerges is the lynchpin in offering folks co-regulation, connection, and felt-safety.

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • How all brains create reality
  • The brain’s most important job
  • The most effective path to take if you want to see behavior change

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

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How Can the Club Help Me? {EP 197}


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It’s really important to me and my team that you have all the information you might need when making the decision to join The Club- or not.

The Club is open for new members now, October 1-8, 2024, and I recorded this episode based on some of the most commonly asked questions

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • What The Club even is and why it’s different than other parenting communities
  • What’s included in your Club membership (so much!)
  • How easy it is to access and participate in The Club
  • How easy it is to step away from The Club whenever you’re ready

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

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Whiplash! When a Meltdown Comes Outta Nowhere {EP 196}


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Whiplash. You probably know what I mean. You start to be lulled into a life with fewer meltdowns, or less intensity. Then BOOM. An old behavior seems to explode out of nowhere. 

You’re right back to feeling like everything’s awful or it’ll never get better or you’ll have to live like this forever. 

You might even be frustrated with yourself that you let yourself ‘relax.’

All of these experiences are completely normal for folks who love someone with a chronic condition that occasionally flares- which is what a vulnerable nervous system is.

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • The whiplash and why we feel it
  • Why our kids seem to attack outta nowhere
  • Why these moments feel like everything is as bad as ever- but it probably isn’t
  • Why it’s GOOD we can finally rest, even if it does leave us feeling unprotected and whiplashed

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

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