Why Some People Resist Relational Neuroscience {EP 241}


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Sometimes you share something about the brain—like how all behavior makes sense—and people push back hard. Maybe they dismiss it. Maybe they even get mad. It can feel confusing, because once you see the truth of relational neuroscience, it feels like such a relief. So why are some folks so resistant?

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why resistance is often the nervous system’s way of protecting from grief, shame, or instability
  • How relational neuroscience challenges not just parenting practices but entire worldviews
  • Ways to respond—with compassion for others and yourself—when resistance shows up

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Window of Tolerance- What it Is and How to Grow It {EP 240}


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Sometimes, your kids can handle frustration or disappointment with ease, and other times the exact same challenge sends them into meltdown mode. This can feel really baffling! Why are they so inconsistent?

Well, part of that difference comes down to their window of stress tolerance.

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • What the window of stress tolerance is and how it connects to your child’s owl, watchdog, and possum brains
  • Why widening the window matters for learning, relationships, and everyday life
  • Practical ways you can help your child (and yourself!) expand the window through connection, playfulness, noticing the good, and self-compassion

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

When Your Words and Feelings Don’t Match {EP 239}


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Have you ever smiled while you were seething inside? Or told your child “it’s fine” when it absolutely wasn’t? That mismatch (incongruent affect, we’re gonna talk psychology mumbo jumbo) isn’t just confusing. It’s a cue of danger- to your child’s nervous system AND to yours!

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why kids are biologically wired to trust their caregivers and what happens when their neuroception contradicts the words they hear.
  • How “faking calm” backfires, and why matching energy without dysregulation is a more effective way to bring safety.
  • How growing your window of tolerance and strengthening your owl brain helps you stay regulated while feeling big, hard feelings.

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Happy Birthday RKBBB- and a gift for you! {EP 238}


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Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors turned TWO! 🥳

So, we’re having a party right here on the podcast.

Parties have gifts, so I’m offering three “gifts” for you- a little help around three behaviors that are still SO BAFFLING!

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why regression (aka “acting like a toddler”) is actually a sign of your child’s nervous system falling down the protection mode pathway, and a few ideas of how to respond
  • What’s really happening when your child is inconsistent with their skills (sometimes they can, sometimes they can’t!) and why that doesn’t mean they’re being manipulative.
  • How to make sense of your own baffling behavior (like yelling or doing the things you swore you wouldn’t do)…and a couple thoughts on what you should do about it (you won’t be shocked by my recommendations)

We’ll also celebrate the community this book has created and how the ideas in it continue to ripple out through parents, professionals, and kids all over the world.

If you’ve found something helpful in Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors, I’d love for you to join the celebration by sharing your favorite takeaway, leaving a review, or gifting the book to a friend. 

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Connection: A Biological Imperative (for parents) {EP 227}


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Parents aren’t the only ones providing co-regulation — we need it too. In fact, connection is a biological imperative for every nervous system, including yours. When you’re raising kids with big baffling behaviors, the imbalance in reciprocity can be exhausting, isolating, and even grief-inducing. But here’s the truth: you don’t have to do this alone, and there are real, meaningful ways to find the connection your nervous system longs for.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • Why co-regulation isn’t just for kids — it’s essential for parents too
  • How predictability and cues of safety help you know where to find connection
  • Why imbalance and grief in parenting make sense — and what to do with them
  • How communities (even online ones!) can be powerful sources of connection and safety

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Rewriting the Nervous System Story {EP 236}


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Your child’s behavior isn’t telling you the whole story. Their behavior is telling you just the story their nervous system is writing in that moment.

This week, let’s continue my deep dive into my conversation with Deb Dana (episode 233), exploring how polyvagal theory offers us the hope of rewriting the nervous system story. 

We’re going to talk about the power of believing our children when they tell us the story of their nervous system and steps we can take to help them rewrite that story (if needed).

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why “story follows state” and how this helps us understand our children’s accusations, defensiveness, or “overreactions.”
  • How to resist getting swept into your child’s dysregulation tornado, so you can hold onto compassion (for them and yourself).
  • Practical ways to reframe behavior- like lying, defiance, and opposition- as nervous system responses instead of “badness,” and how that shift helps to rewrite their story…and why that matters. 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Parenting in Chronic Protection Mode {EP 235}

Parenting kids with vulnerable nervous systems often means that parents and caregivers are living in a state of chronic chaos and danger. Even if the behaviors aren’t ‘that bad,’ it’s dysregulating to live with someone in chronic protection mode. 

In this episode, I take a closer look at how polyvagal theory helps us understand the nervous system’s longing for safety—even when life feels overwhelming—and how parents can increase cues of safety even in the midst of ongoing stress.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • Why neuroception continuously scans for cues of safety and danger, and how that shapes whether we live in connection or protection mode.
  • How to use the “inside, outside, between” framework to notice and intentionally increase cues of safety in daily life.
  • The hopeful truth that cues of safety from relationships, pets, and nature can eventually be internalized—giving us safety that lives within us, always.

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

 

/by

Polyvagal Theory, Hope, Dysregulation, and Repair {EP 234}


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What if dysregulation isn’t the problem? 

I know I know- that’s really hard to wrap our brain around! At least, it was for me. 

In this episode, I continue the conversation from last week’s interview with Deb Dana and take a deeper dive into one of her most powerful insights: that dysregulation is simply part of being human—and it’s the absence of repair that becomes the real challenge.

But I think for parents of kids with big, baffling behaviors, we need to pause and explore that a little more. Because- in your home- dysregulation is a real problem!!!

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why dysregulation is a natural part of being human, and how polyvagal theory reframes it with compassion and hope
  • The difference between dysregulation itself and the behaviors that can emerge from it
  • How offering repair—even when it isn’t received—can create powerful shifts in your child’s nervous system and in your own

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Polyvagal Theory as a Path to Hope: Regulation, Repair, and Connection with guest Deb Dana {EP 233}


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Polyvagal theory isn’t just a theory- it’s a way of living that can transform how we show up for our kids, ourselves, and everyone around us. I’m SOOOO excited to introduce you to Deb Dana! Together, we explore how understanding our nervous systems brings hope, deepens connection, and makes repair possible even in the messiest moments.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • Why polyvagal theory is truly a theory of hope and how it can reframe your parenting challenges.
  • How to increase cues of safety and decrease cues of danger—for you and your child.
  • The essential role of repair in building connection, even when your child can’t (or won’t) receive it right away.

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Swearing- What it Means and How to Respond {EP 232}


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When kids swear, it often feels jarring, disrespectful, or even threatening. But swearing isn’t about defiance or being a bad kid- it’s a clue about the state of your child’s nervous system. Swearing might mean your child is overwhelmed, dysregulated, or struggling to find their real voice. 

Of course, understanding the behavior isn’t excusing the behavior. BUT! When we understand where the behavior is coming from, we get much better and more effective ideas about how to address it.

In this episode, we explore what’s really going on beneath the swearing, why it might be possible to consider that swearing isn’t inherently bad, and how parents can respond in ways that build regulation, connection, and felt safety.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why your own reaction to swearing is the first thing to explore, and how to regulate through it
  • What swearing might really be communicating, including pain, overwhelm, or a need for control
  • How to scaffold emotional expression so your child learns to use their real voice instead of cussing

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

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