The #1 Ingredient of Self-Regulation {EP 215}


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Monitoring and modifying are the two essential elements of regulation. ~ Dr. Dan Siegel

When we really understand what makes up the skill of self-regulation, we can be more intentional about helping our kids develop those skills.

We can also be more understanding and compassionate when they aren’t able to use those skills!

This episode explores the skills of monitoring (noticing) and modifying (changing) our level of arousal and activation as the main ingredients of self-regulation.

Remember that self-regulation can only develop with enough co-regulation. But once there is a strong foundation of co-regulation, we can encourage our kids to develop the skills to notice and change (when appropriate or needed!) their level of arousal. 

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • The main ingredients of self-regulation- monitor & modify
  • How to scaffold up to teaching kids to monitor and modify
  • How to have appropriate expectations about your child’s ability to monitor and modify, even after they have learned the skills

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Helping Kids with Medical Trauma with Rose LaPiere {EP 214}


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Medical trauma can feel confusing because in many circumstances, we are seeking out the very medical interventions that our kids experience as traumatic. 

Trauma is in the eye of the beholder. Some kids experience trauma due to their time in the NICU. Some kids experience trauma at the dentist. Some kids experience trauma due to an emergency or accident. 

Much of the time, parents feel helpless or even guilty for ‘causing’ the trauma. 

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • How medical treatment can have a traumatic impact
  • How to help kids make sense of confusing medical treatment
  • A couple of ideas for how to help kids prepare for medical treatment

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Resentment & Parenting {EP 213}


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Resentment. We’ve all felt it.

Very little about this parenting journey has gone according to plan.

We’ve done the hard work- the never-ending work actually – of rewiring everything we thought we knew about behavior, what it means to be human, how to parent, and how to have a family.

Some days we do it without a second thought.

Some days are full of resentment and anger.

You aren’t a bad person. But resentment feels bad! 

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • The very important job that resentment does for you
  • A message that resentment might be trying to tell you
  • The importance of staying curious – and not shaming – about the feeling of resentment

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Are We Just Rewarding Bad Behavior? {EP 212}


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One of the harder things to navigate when shifting to a nervous system lens on behavior is the feeling that a lot of the strategies seem like they are rewarding bad behavior.

Strategies that invite regulation, connection, and felt safety are usually strategies that feel good.

If our kids feel good after bad behavior, will they have MORE bad behavior??

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • What it might be signaling if you’re wondering if you’re rewarding bad behavior
  • How to avoid unintentionally increasing the likelihood of dysregulation in the future
  • Why it’s reallllllly important to offer connection, co-regulation and felt safety strategies when you are in connection mode

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Hard? Too Hard? For PARENTS! {EP 211}


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We talk a lot about hard very too hard for your kids (thanks Amanda Diekman for that hard vs. too hard language!).

But have you considered applying that concept to yourself? 

This is intensive parenting! Far beyond when parenting is supposed to get less intensive, you’re still giving super-hero level scaffolding, supervision and co-regulation – and it’s a LOT!

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • How to assess for when it’s just TOO hard- for YOU!
  • The importance of making an owl-brain decision about things being too hard (or not)
  • Ways to increase support at the same time as you lower demands for yourself 

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Sabotage and Being Set Up {EP 210}


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It’s very common to feel like our kids are either intentionally sabotaging good things or that they are purposefully setting us up to be mad or disappointed or to have to say no. 

You aren’t imagining this phenomenon!

All humans do it, but our kids with vulnerable nervous systems and big, baffling behaviors may seem like they do it more often.

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • The neuroscience behind WHY our kids sabotage situations or set us up to be dysregulated
  • What they are really doing (and it’s actually full of hope)
  • How we might respond differently that could actually change their brain

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

No One Is Coming To Save Us {EP 209}


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It took me a looooooong time to really truly believe and understand that- no one is coming to save me.

I had to do the hard work to take responsibility for my own triggers, my own nervous system, my own change. This only happened after oodles and oodles of safety, connection, and co-regulation.

Maybe you, like me, have held onto the hope that someone else will fix this. Your child will change, you’ll get the services you need, something will happen and everything will get better. 

Maybe this journey through some of the intimate moments of my own healing journey can assist you on your’s.

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Bravely Being With Grief with Rose LaPiere {EP 208}


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Rose LaPiere LPC, RPT-S, and ACS invites into a space of safety and connection so we can make room for grief. Rose brings her own experiences of grief to her work as a play therapist (and co-leader in Robyn’s immersive training program for parenting professionals, the Professional Immersion Program {formerly Being With}) so she can bravely welcome in, and be with, her client’s big, at times overwhelming, feelings. 

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • The importance of authenticity, naming, and acknowledge even really really hard feelings
  • The role of playfulness is processing grief
  • The importance of self compassion for the grown-ups and therapists supporting kids and families in their grief

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Is It Time to Raise the Bar? {EP 207}


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You’ve lowered stress and demands. You’ve reframed your child’s behavior as a response from their autonomic nervous system. You’ve worked hard to help your child’s stress response system rest and begin to heal

Now what?

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • How rest is only one part of the healing process
  • The importance of reintroducing stress
  • The difference between stress that prompts growth and stress that leads to injury and burn-out

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

Punishment Free Parenting with Jon Fogel {EP 206}


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Jon Fogel is a dad who combined his passions for parenting, neuroscience, and impacting the world to create a viral social media account (@wholeparent) and then publish his book, Punishment-Free Parenting. 

Jon and I get lost in some pretty deep topics together, including 

  • How he helps parents make huge parenting shifts
  • How parenting with punishment relies on a pretty pessimistic view of humanity
  • Boundaries vs. Consequences vs. Punishments

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

  • Punishment Free Parenting by Jon Fogel
  • Jon’s Instagram: Whole Parent

Dive into these topics further on past Baffling Behavior Show episodes

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

/by

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