Are Connected Kids Always Cooperative? {EP 173}


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If regulated, connected kids who feel safe do well, does that mean connected kids are always cooperative?

Definitely not! In fact, there’s a level of connection to others- and to themselves! – that invites in the safety to be UNcooperative!

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • How safety can invite both cooperative and UNcooperative behavior
  • Why too much cooperative would actually be a bad thing
  • How parenting with co-regulation and connection helps kids become more connected to themselves

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

  • Resources mentioned in the podcast go here

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

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What Does It Mean To ‘Heal’? {EP 172}


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The question of ‘can I heal’ or ‘can my child heal’ or ‘how do I (or my child) heal’ is a tricky one. 

Healing is a word that gets used a lot without really pausing to ask ourselves what it actually means. 

If we are aiming for a nebulous goal that hasn’t been defined, it will feel impossible to reach. Impossible tasks often feel hopeless.

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • Why it’s most useful to stay focused on widening our window of stress tolerance
  • How co-regulation contributes to healing
  • How memory relates to trauma symptoms and healing

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

  • Resources mentioned in the podcast go here

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

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Living With Someone Chronically Dysregulated {EP 171}


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Do you live with someone or love someone who is chronically dysregulated?

This episode isn’t an episode that is going to tell you what to do.

This is an episode of commiseration. Of “I see you.”

It is exhausting to live with someone who is chronically unhappy, or chronically dysregulated. Knowing you’re not alone can help.

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • How nervous systems match each other
  • How we get our sense of safety from the state of each other’s nervous system
  • The serve & return and rhythms of relationship, and what happens when that gets disrupted 

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

  • Resources mentioned in the podcast go here

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

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Why Kids Act Better For Other People {EP 170}

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It’s very common for all humans- kids and adults- to have more behavior struggles and dysregulation. Kids with vulnerable nervous systems, as well as attachment trauma, are especially likely to demonstrate some confusing patterns with regard to where they are regulated and where they aren’t.

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • The neurobiology behind why it’s normal for kids (and adults) to behave better at school (or work or out shopping or wherever)
  • How the connections in a family could be the trigger for dysregulation
  • How all families tend to have moments that ebb and flow in dysregulation- this is normal

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

  • Disorganized Attachment podcast
  • Stress Response Podcast
  • When Connection isn’t Safe podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

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The Privilege of Parenting With Safety {EP 169}


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Parenting with co-regulating and seeing below our kids behaviors is actually a privilege we rarely talk about. It’s always a privilege, but especially when we consider different marginalized and oppressed identities that a lot of kids- and those of you listening- intersectionally hold. 

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • The definition of privilege (it is NOT a criticism)
  • The privilege of safety for folks with histories of trauma
  • The privilege of safety for folks with other marginalized and oppressed identities
  • How this relates to parenting 

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

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I HATE YOU! And Other Big Feelings {EP 168}


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Kids with vulnerable nervous systems often say BIG, hurtful, and scary words. They say things like “I hate you!” or “You hate me!” They sometimes threaten to hurt themselves- or you! Verbal aggression almost always pulls us right onto the watchdog pathway ourselves- which is understandable. Let’s talk about how you might respond if you’re able to hang onto your owl brain.

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • To stay focused on the level of activation, not the words being said
  • What to say (if anything) back to statements like “I hate you,” “I wish you’d never adopted me,” or “I’m going to hurt you.” 
  • How to start listening for what’s really being expressed

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

  • Resources mentioned in the podcast go here

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

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Silliness As A Sign Of Dysregulation {EP 167}


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Have you ever felt confused by your child’s silly behavior? It seems like they are having fun, but it doesn’t feel good at all?

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • How to tell the difference between fun-silly and dysregulated-silly
  • What’s going on in the brain and nervous system for a child who is dysregulated-silly
  • Practical ideas for how to support your child returning to regulation, connection, and felt safety

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

 

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1% Better Is Enough. {EP 166}

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What’s Up With Rude & Disrespectful Behaviors? {EP 165}


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Sometimes it’s those lower-level, chronic behaviors- like rudeness and sassiness- that can really deplete the very limited reserves we have saved up in our own window of stress tolerance. Then we waffle between over-responding (big reaction, tiny problem) or under-responding (ignoring dysregulation which ultimately leads to increased dysregulation). 

Kids in chronic protection mode often seem rude, sassy, and mildly oppositional. What do we do when it feels like every word out of our own mouths would be to correct our kid’s tone or disrespect?

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • Where sassy, rude, and disrespectful language usually falls on the watchdog continuum
  • Possibilities about what really be underneath your child’s rude behavior
  • Times when it makes sense for our kids to have a what’s up watchdog brain response that we should respect, not try to change

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Listen on the Podcast

This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn

Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

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Attachment Science in Action- A conversation with Jessica Sinarski {EP 164}

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If you’ve ever wanted to eavesdrop on a conversation between two attachment, trauma, and neuro-nerds, today is your chance.

Robyn and her dear friend and colleague, Jessica Sinarski, got together a few weeks ago for a live webinar to chat about how they have turned attachment science into practice.

If you missed that webinar, here’s your chance to listen in.

In this episode, you’ll learn
Why most therapy trainings are inadequate for working with children with trauma and attachment histories
How Robyn & Jessica learned how to put attachment science into practice
What to do if your clients what a behavioral approach
Why we don’t have to have all (or even most) of the answers
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast
Moving Beyond Trauma Informed with Jessica Sinarski
Being With with Robyn Gobbel
There might be more, I’m not sure

Listen on the Podcast
This blog is a short summary of a longer episode on The Baffling Behavior Show podcast.

Find The Baffling Behavior Show podcast on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, or in your favorite podcast app.

Or, you can read the entire transcript of the episode by scrolling down and clicking ‘transcript.’

Robyn
Author of National Best Selling Book (including audiobook) Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work

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